Ringo Starr

The unsung hero of The Beatles.

It don't come easy living with a nose that big.

Just The Facts

  1. Surprisingly... is Not Jewish
  2. Drummer for The Beatles
  3. Married a Bond Girl

The Everyman

John Lennon and Paul McCartney were the ego-driven frontmen for The Beatles. George Harrison was the quiet one who secretly plotted revenge. Ringo Star, on the other hand, was the everyman. That is why he deserves more respect. When it came time to do a movie, cartoon, or TV show featuring the band it was Ringo who was made the star. Who the fuck can relate to John, Paul, and George? No one. Yet...everyone can relate to Ringo! Hence the reason he was made the star. Sadly, he wasn't the star in real life. The drummer is the dude in the back. That was his role on and off the stage. While John, Paul, and George were busy fighting and creating great music he was playing chess with one of the engineers. As a result he doesn't get credit for anything. Which is fine from a musical sense since his only contribution was Octopus' Garden, but isn't fine overall.

To begin with, he was the nicest in the band. John and Paul were assholes and George was depressed all the time. Ringo, on the other hand, was down to Earth and easy to get along with. Even the band didn't hate him. After the breakup, he was the only member to continue working with all three Beatles. Especially George Harrison who practically wrote all his hit songs. Secondly, he married a Bond girl. Let me repeat that: a fucking Bond girl!!! John married that bitch, Yoko. Paul was doing fine for a few decades and then ended up with a one-legged bitch. And, George's wife left him for Eric Clapton. Yet, Ringo continues to be happily married to the Russian chick from The Spy Who Loved Me. It's proof that the nice, down-to Earth everyman could end up with a nice girl while the good-looking guys end up with bitches. Finally, he's a fucking Beatle. Nuff said.

Also, isn't it amusing that despite growing up a sickly child he out-lived half the band. If he outlives Paul McCartney, which is possible since Ringo doesn't look a day over 50 while Paul's face is melting, he will be a hero to sickly children everywhere!