Peter Sellers

Peter Sellers achieved universal acclaim in his career - spanning four decades - as possibly the greatest comedy character actor of th 20th century, as well as one of the most influential. Oh, he was also batshit insane.

Sellers was the first male on the cover of a Playboy. I would've died happily with that achievement alone, but Sellers was too good for that.

If I had some sort of graph or chart I'd put it here, but I guess I'm not cool enough to be like the other topics.

Just The Facts

  1. Peter Sellers is the original Inspector Clouseau from the Pink Panther franchise.
  2. No matter how many times you try to hurt yourself, you will never be as good at it as Sellers.
  3. "Did somebody order a bim?"

The Pink Panther

Peter Sellers had the strange and yet incredible gift to literally just throw himself at/off/into things for an hour and a half and still manage to make a decently amusing movie. The Pink Panther series especially promoted this style, since there was at lease one (1) gag in every movie in which Peter set himself on fire, attempted to have sex with a woman but was interrupted by various explosions and/or people (and occasionally both), went flying into some body of water, dressed up in some odd disguise which eventually backfired, etc. In other words, Sellers basically reused jokes from every previous movie until the 5th Pink Panther was literally just a bunch of clips from his old movies (although I don't blame him, since he was technically dead at the time they made the movie.)

More recently, Steve Martin starred in a remake of The Pink Panther. Despite miserable reviews, critics couldn't hold back comments like "the Pink Panther is...funny" or "Steve Martin was clearly alive during filming." We can only hope that these rave reviews bring fans of the new Pink Panther over to Seller's version.

The, Uh, "Interesting" Personal Life

Sellers was good friends with George Harrison and Ringo Starr, which was pretty badass by itself, despite that they happened to be the nonspeaking guitar player and the guy in the back playing drums that nobody ever sees. Sellers and Roman Polanski shared their slightly overenthusiastic obsession with cars together (Sellers referred to himself as an "auto-erotic" once, which is going to creep me out every time I watch the scene where he's naked in the car in A Shot In The Dark (which I definitely don't watch every day or anything)).

While Sellers seems like he was a nice guy, it turns out he fucking hated everybody. He routinely emotionally raped his son Michael for things like "having a mother who is having an affair with someone who is not me" or "having the name Michael." He flat-out refused to be on the same set as Orson Welles when they were doing a movie together because *GASP* Orson was "having a casual relationship" with Princess Margaret. After Sellers and Jo Van Fleet got into a fight or something, Sellers became so confused over Van Fleet's refusal to come to dinner with Peter that he flipped out and started ranting to the cast and crew about how much of an asshole Van Fleet was. Sellers was married to 38 (slight exaggeration) people, including (probably) his car.

Sellers also managed to crank out one of the most badass quotes ever, albeit while on The Muppet Show: "There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me, but I had it surgically removed." Sellers apparently had himself removed from himself. Tell that to your psychologist next time you go for a visit (which I imagine is pretty often for the average Cracked fan). Sellers was hooked on several recreational drugs (as opposed to the professional kind), which probably influenced his minor emotional issues.

Sellers managed to launch a 13-foot wide glob of solid hate at the one person he missed during his life at his funeral: himself. Shortly after dying, he asked that the song "In The Mood" by Glen Miller be played at his funeral because, well, he really didn't like it. Yes, Sellers was one of the few men on Earth whose last act was to piss himself off. Now THAT takes dedication.