Smoking
Smoking is an activity that serves no utilitarian purpose, yet somehow remains legal despite being proven to kill you. Plus it makes you look cool.
Just The Facts
- Smoking is sexy.
- Until it's not.
- Then it's really, really not.
Cracked on Smoking
Because of its dangerous nature, smoking has been met with strong opposition from doctors and lawmakers, and strong support from those 9th graders behind the gym. Although many have tried to outlaw cigarette smoking on the grounds that it causes lung cancer (which is true), attempts to ban it entirely have been unsuccessful.
Objects commonly smoked are:
Cigarettes
Cigars
Lettuce(?)
While smoking is inherently dangerous, it remains a popular recreational pastime in almost every country in the world dating all the way back to 5000 B.C. A popular argument for starting smoking is aesthetics: Enhancing the self-image by adding a simple cigarette, cigar or pipe to the wardrobe.
For example, smoking can make you look more punk rock:
More French:
More gangster:
More classy:
More grizzled:
The only downside to smoking?
Oh yeah. That.
Follow the author of this topic on Twitter: @alexfurlin
This article seemed more of a 'Legalize pot....man' article.
ReplyNice and short.
ReplyAnd yeah, though I never smoked weed before (nor do I plan on doing so in the near future), why the HELL is marijuana illegal while the big killers cigarettes and alcohol aren't?
Haha I love this. And as a sidenote...no matter how much weed I smoke...I never find America's Funniest Home Videos funny. f**k that shit.
ReplyI found it funny when I wasn't baked. In my defense I was six.
haha
i agree,specially when he tries to be funny its just embarrassing
Too much coke, impotent. Too much booze, impotent. Too many cigarettes, impotent. Too much weed " I got Mary Jane my girl can wait". One shot of cognac and a coke laced joint topped off with cigarette chaser,... Pepe Le Pew. Now if Pfizer can put this in a pill what would it be called?
Replyi'm really worried about how you found that out.
^Psssh like it's nothing any fratboy could find out at a s****y party.
It's okay, Cracked, I liked your article.
ReplyI think i'll smoke a bowl.
ReplyLame, ignorant, and entirely unoriginal. People were making these same smoker/stoner jokes when I was in highschool last century.
ReplyAnd no, I'm not a smoker or stoner.
Well no wonder you're so f*****g boring.
He's totally right, this was clearly written by a non-smoker, smoking has positive effects which weren't listed here because the writer has a full on biased opinion
but the butterfly effect was a good movie!
Replyand I didn't do any drugs.
im not addicted to smoking..but yet i usually have 2 a day which can go up to at least 10 if im drinking. But i NEVER get a craving for them...its been 24 hours since i last smoked but i think i'll have one before bed cause it clears my head. Oh and also cause i havnt smoked pot in over a year..once i smoke pot again i wont touch a dirty cigarette!
ReplyBoth marijuana and smoking are just as bad. Just, for different things.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesFor example, smoking can give you ten different kinds of cancer, bad breath, worsen your physical condition, stained teeth, etc... (In fact, the only thing it can help you with is Parkinson's, because it generates some extra dopamine and this is not really proven substantially)
Marijuana fucks with your cognitive abilities, makes you unable to get it up, etc.
The thing with anti-smoking propaganda is it's pretty much demonstrated that the only way to make it sink the f**k in is to nag with it REPEATEDLY.
Finally, you forgot a not-minor short-term side effect of cocaine: f*****g heart attacks.
Signed,
A somewhat frustrated and non-smoking med-student.
Cannabis doesn't seem to really effect cognitive abilities nearly as much as people once thought. In fact, recent studies have been in place that are showing THC to have powerful effects in combating alzheimer's. The impotence thing is likely propaganda - If anything, I've found it to be a fairly effective aphrodisiac.
Not to argue with a frustrated med student or anything, but to call the dangers of cannabis "on par" with tobacco is patently ridiculous. One substance has been shown to cause a variety of cancers, and one has been shown to fight cancer perhaps at a level unseen in any other drug.
Cannabis, especially when consumed orally, along with the majority of the better-known psychedelics are so ridiculously benign it defies any explanation of their prohibition.
I'd be willing to say that all the SSRI's and amphetamines we give to children these days by far trump the majority of the ill effects the majority of them will ever see due to psychedleics.
Hey, I'm in favor of legalization... but what you said is still mostly bullshit and pure, distilled quackery.
Your evidence pretty much amounts to "IMO"
Now I don't know which one of you to believe! Harvard APA/Vancouver referencing or GTFO!
No, that isn't "distilled quackery". Google is your friend.
“I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.” - Bill Hicks
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesDidn't he die from cancer?
Indeed...probably a bad choice.
Doesn't make him less right. He didn't say "non-smokers die, we don't" he said "non-smokers die too" and they don't only die from unrelated diseases (like STDs or other types of cancer) or accidents, they die from lung cancer, throat cancer, mouth cancer, strokes and heart attacks just like smokers do.
i love bill hicks. he died of a cancer unrelated to his smoking, too.
what's seriously the harm in having a cigar every once and a while?
Reply(sidebar)the body high of a good cigar and i mean like one that is 10-20$ rivals that of a series of great tokes/bong hoots.
it's mostly the stigma surrounding "SMOKERS" people who are nicotine addicts and chain smoke, and will likely never quit.
similar with negative stereotypes of "STONERS and ALCOHOLICS"
people harp on about the negative effects of substance abuse, but we never really like to admit that we as human beings enjoy certain substances and subsequently,will enjoy the acts of usage in any way,shape, or form.
it's just human in nature.
so go ahead and enjoy yourself,but rember your limitations, otherwise people may regard you as a dickhead...
Marijuana will teach you more about math than any of the other drugs on this list.
Replysomethings got to keep our population under control
Reply...lettuce
ReplyAt least those simply under the influence of nicotine don't go beating their children, raping chicks at parties, or killing people while driving.
ReplyBut ya knoooow....
Kind of like marijuana. Except marijuana doesn't kill you.
Even as a non-smoker, I found this article to be pretty biased and unfunny...Even those who've spent their entire lives buried underneath a rock know that smoking is bad for you by now.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesWhat is it with the Internet lately and this pro-marijuana, anti-smoking crusade? I did a search on cigarettes on whatdoestheinternetthink, and it came up 94.5% negative. Searched marijuana, though, and it got 92.6% positive.
I'm sorry, but I don't really find either habit to be appealing. And I'd rather hang out with a tobacco user than someone who's constantly stoned out of their mind. Whatever, though, I'm sure I'm taking this too seriously, seeing as it's an article on a comedy site.
Sure you don't smoke
Yeah, I'm positive. My main problem here is not the obvious anti-smoking agenda (although I still don't find that part funny), it's the fact that they present marijuana as the harmless, comical alternative.
I've had quite a few pothead friends, and I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a smoker friend who has to go outside every hour or so than someone who can't even follow a conversation because they're so fixated on how crazy that light looks, or how great their Doritos taste...or how life is just, like, so crazy, man...like, if you think about it, the Earth is just like 1/millionth the size of the Sun, man...
I guess those kinds of things might be funny if everyone was high at the same time. But some people have more important things on which to spend their money...and time.
Not to mention the negative consequences for cognitive and emotional processing in the brain. Also, as a non smoker I have to say, what the hell is up with putting pictures of smoker's lungs and dead people and what not on packages? It convinces nobody to quit and it's just a smug in your face attitude tha will even convince people not to quit. Want to convince them Call them an idiot by wastng tons of money on something that has absolutely nothing positive to it apart from fulfilling a negative need for nicotine. That shit's expensive.
Perhaps your problem isn't that you hang out with stoners, it's that you hang out with retarded stoners.
Anyway, marijuana is a hot topic right now because it's illegal for no reason, and more and more people are realizing it. Once it's legal, we'll stop talking about it so much and you'll have some peace.
@Nellodee: It's not illegal for no reason, it's illegal so we can incarcerate f*****t douchebag stoners. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for legalization because it will give me a insurmountable edge when looking for work.
There are successful marijuana smokers, just as there are exceptions to any rule. But again, these are the exceptions. Do a survey of people who still live with their parents at the age of 30, and you will find that the marijuana smoking demographic is represented disproportionately well.
@Dr. Avery. Legalisation will give you an "insurmountable edge when looking for work"?
You seem as pathetic as those poor 30 year olds you look down on. An "insurmountable edge"?? If only employers measured and appreciated douchery in job interviews. You wouldn't have to wait for any drug laws to change!
Smoke meth!
ReplyIt has no tar and you can make it yourself!
And you can burn down your house while making meth!
You forgot to mention the possibility of psychosis for marijuana. America's Funniest Home Videos may well be s**t, but psychosis is considerably worse.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSource?
Yeah. Source it or it never happened, because I have never heard of anyone getting psychosis from smoking marijuana.
There really is no indication whatsoever of psychosis with marijuana use, there needs to be a psychological trigger. Weed isn't the cause, but it may change your perspective on the basis of what you normally take in from your environment.
Oh, and schizophrenia has been at a steady 1% or so (look it up) of the population even though mj use has gone up since the 70's. Same logic, stronger reasoning; pot's just gonna uncover earlier what is bound to happen when not smoking it.
God dammit. That graph should be a bar graph. There is no progression through time. Using a line graph here is wrong. Why do people get s**t like this wrong and why does it bother me?! Maybe I should toke up...
Reply