Phallic Symbolism

Phallic Symbolism is fucking EVERYWHERE. Do you doubt? Look around you--can you spot at least five penises in your general vicinity?

In this, it represents the Divine Male principle.

Everything you've ever been told is true.

Just The Facts

  1. Everything's a penis.
  2. Putting a penis on something makes it special and/or sinister. Try it!
  3. The Illuminati are watching you through this page.


The phallus is an ancient symbol of virility, fertility, and Patriarchal Power (thanks, Dan Brown! That one was tough!). It's also inescapable. Architects, artists, and religious leaders are always sticking it in places where you least suspect it (heh. Get it?).

For more on how Masons, realtors, and the like are subliminally seducing you to the dark side: