Hippies
Hippies were a type of young person in the 60s whose parents were capitalist enough that they could afford to maintain their offspring's anti-capitalist lifestyle.
Just The Facts
- It's important to bear in mind that hippies started all their thought processes based on this acid trip they had once.
- Ergo - they believed that world peace could be achieved through the power of music.
- They all now work in advertising.
- Young hippies do not exist anymore, only douchebags.
Hippie Politics
Hippies will look at any issue facing the current, modern world and suggest a completely retarded solution, as shown in the graph below.
Although hippies had little or no lasting impact on the geo-political world, they weren't completely worthless:
- They managed to show us that while drugs can have a positive influence on a person's creative abilities, allowing said drugs to do all the work results in long-winded and piss-ass annoying albums that float somewhere between "egotistical masturbation" and "patronizing opinionation."
- That while there may be things that are very, very wrong with the world, if you want to exact change you actually have to get up off your lazy ass and do something about it. Tuning In and Dropping Out is the opposite of that. And really thinking about things while smoking weed is no better than standing in the middle of a field chewing cud like a goddamn cow.
- Tie-dye is just awful. That's a fashion trend we'll never revisit.
Woodstock
Woodstock marked the apex of all that was sought to be achieved in the 60s, appropriately taking place during the last days of Summer, 1969. From this point on, everything was horrifically ugly and offensive to hippies.
Funnily enough, hippie icon Bob Dylan, never played at Woodstock, because (according to Wikipedia) his son was ill and he "was unhappy about the number of hippies piling up outside his house."
"What the - ? Scram you filthy bums!"
Overall, the festival was said to be kick-ass awesome, thanks to an inspired (read: off the fucking wall) performance by Jimi Hendrix (and, if you watch the film, a young man on the bongos so full of amphetamines his eyes look like approaching asteroids) accompanied by probably the most drugs ever taken simultaneously outside of a Quentin Tarantino brainstorming session.
damn hippies
ReplyNot all drugs are bad. Some can be spiritual, if you are a spiritual person. Hippies were hippies big deal, there shouldn't be such powerful opinions over the matter anyway. Legalize..that's all I'm sayin.
ReplyI wonder if the author is biased against republicans
ReplyI love this topic page for pissing off so many people.
ReplyAs a hippies I must say: I sad :( I drugs now :)
Replydont shoot mariguana shoot hippies well maybe they shouldnt have shot them but takeaway their damned drugs
ReplyYou don't shoot marijuana you smoke it, or hot box it. You shoot heroine.
The whole comments section reaches nex levels of "fuck"s, those f*****g hippies sure need to calm down
ReplyYes! An rticle that points out what tossers the hippies were. You should have also roped the neck around them for bringing up all this quasi-metaphysical stuff and new-age religion.
ReplyYou don't shoot coke, dumbass.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesyou can absolutely shoot coke, dumbass
With bullets, dumbass!
dumbass. -.-
Hippies had good ideals, but still...stupid f*****g hippies. I do agree with hippies politically, still, as all us anarcho-crusty punks dudes are basically hippies without the spiritual crap and with a lot more rage. And better, far more abrasive/extreme music. But the whole hippy-dippy attitude is f*****g annoying and does nothing to help or even raise awareness of the cause they should be fighting with us crusties for.
ReplyAnd not only do they not help, I've always been of the opinion that they're actually *hurting* the causes they claim to support. By attaching themselves to...well, whatever cause seemed trendy at the time, all they do is become the face of the issue (being both loud and incredibly obnoxious), and end up marginalizing anyone who supports said issue as a "counter-culture fringe".
I agree that Hippies are silly and idealistic, but it's funny how almost all of the people criticizing hippies were'nt even around back then. Most things will look retarded in 40 years. You commenters need to stop acting like angst-ridden 13 year olds "Shoot hippies not dope." and then just reply to a comment with "stupid hippy." Hippies have brought good AND bad. I thought Cracked would be different on their hippy topic instead of just "hippys are stinky, and silly, and they look ugly," its a yawn i expected more from cracked.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesYeah, in 40 years all those assholes sagging their pants with backwards hats on won't be remembered well. That being said, the fashion of metal-heads from 40 years ago remain the same. So I guess metal doesn't look stupid 40 years later. Suck it homes.
It does look stupid for me. Also, it already looked stupid 40 years ago, so there.
YES. Yes, metalheads look stupid
Hippies, metalheads and morons with backwards hats all look like f*****g retards.
@Daru, Couillon and R.D. :
And yet I know plenty of Metalheads that don't wear metal clothes at all [for example: me] or they only wear normal jeans and a band t-shirt for concerts.
I find metalhead fashion [the real metal fashion from the 70s/80s/90s, not stupid mallcore Hot Topic kids, emos and scenesters!!] to be the less ridiculous of all of them, the easiest to pull off properly, and the most comfortable one. *
*I'm talking about regular people, not the stage outfits that metal musicians wear in their shows, obviously.
I didn't know fashion could spring such black hatred in casual comment conversation. If you guys looked at a picture of Lady Gaga, your heads would probably explode with panic. I know mine does.
I was kind of surprised by how much Cracked seems to hate hippies. It always seemed to be that funny counterculture (hippies, hipsters, etc.) would be adored by Cracked, since they seem to completely addicted to counterculture (and other things).
Hmm, this comment doesn't sound friendly enough so far. I'll just add lots of smiley faces to improve the overall tone. :D :D :D :D :D :D
Shoot hippies not dope
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesShoot cops not coke
Shoot annoying commenter, not John Lennon.
Shoot you not me.
f**k you, Cracked. f**k you.
ReplyYou've either never been to the 60s or otherwise are one of those 50s parents.
Oh, and hippies were peaceful for a while. But when it didn't get them what they wanted, there were riots.
Kinda s****y article, showing a lack of research. And amphetamines won't make your pupils huge, psychedelics will. Amphetamines and psychedelics are WAY different.
ReplyDid it touch a nerve, you dirty hippie?
f**k you JimmyDean, monster difference between a punk and a hippie. Especially one who, in the least, claims to be an anarchist. There are no mosh pits for hippy music.
To the punk. Fight, but don't become blinded like your enemy. Anarchists can become dogmatic believers in their ideology just like anyone else.
Completely agree with this article. See the South Park episode for more about Hippie uselessness.
Replywho ever wrote this. youre a f**k head. if youre going to rag on a lifestyle you know nothing about try not to sound like an ignorant fool. have you ever been shot at or teargassed at an anti war protest? the only reason you think you can say this s**t it because they are for the most part pacifists.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesreal funny.
Hippy.
Guess what? That doesn't happen any more. The only time officials are allowed to fire on protests is if they pose a threat to people. And you know what else? The ideals of the hippie movement have actually had some impact on the rest of the world. Why? Because there were concerts even more awesome than Woodstock, and that level of awesome was enough to actually change people's minds? No, it's because today's activists stage nonviolent protests, don't do drugs out in the open where they can be caught, violate no laws, and go through the damn legal system. I'll admit it's a faulty, slow system. But it's a Hell of a lot better than holding ridiculously elaborate festivals that only people in the hippie community would know about and therefore be able to attend. Because guess what? You're preaching to the choir. If the 1960s movement had gained the attention of others without looking like drugged-out criminals, they would have had a much greater impact. So b***h all you want. It's not entirely your fault that people didn't listen, but you can't say you made them listen.
Dude, without the hippies, there wouldn't BE any peaceful protesting. We'd still be stuck in the xenophobic '50s. Sure, the hippies in the 60s weren't perfect, they were very radical, but they were the first ones to get off of their knees and start thinking for themselves. Naturally, the change of altitude led to some crazy ideas, but they passed with time. I'm a neo-hippie, but I know that half of the s**t hippies were going on about in the 60s was fucked up. When there's a paradigm shift, the shift will always go to the most radical side of the spectrum first, like a pendulum, but once we start thinking clearly again, it becomes more moderate and better than either alternatives. We wouldn't have that without the hippies.
Shut your whore mouth, the xenophobic 50s where the best times. All the men had a damn job (not like the hippies, were they just went to concerts, formed groups and got wasted to "stick it to the man") and also the men of the 50s had short hair...and were hygienic...and beat their women. They had no "rights." NO ONE DID. But nooo...people had to complain and bitch. We don't need protests. OR TERRORISTS. You a terrorist? America, f**k YEAH.
Hey, c'mon, man! Not all us young hippies are douchebags! Perpetuating...fuckin...stereotypes...
ReplyDamn right man.....this 'article' pissed me off....
Agreed. I can't say I'm a hippie, but I've always agreed with a lot of the philosophies that one would support. There was a bit too much senseless aggression, probably just for humor, in this article
I couldn't read past your 'Democrat, Republican, Hippy Solutions to Problems' bs. Most of the things you listed as Republican are Democratic ideas. Especially the nanny state method of outlawing anything that may be bad for you, because Democrats believe people are too stupid to think for themselves. Also, free-market capitalism has nothing to do with welfare. The free-market is usually right because without government interference in business, there can be competition (which means that rather than have a poorly run monopoly on a service - like public education, amtrak etc - companies actually have to cater to customers if they want to make money, they do this by lowering prices and bettering service). Welfare has to do primarily with individuals, not companies. And Republicans are not against the idea of welfare, they are against the abuse of welfare by people who have realized that they can make more money receiving welfare than they can working minimum wage jobs. But by all means, lets just not worry about the fact we are spending millions to help people sit on their asses, it's not like we're in a recession or anything.
ReplyHooray for massive generalisations!
Quentin Tarantino doesn't do drugs! He does super drugs!
ReplyHey man us hippies are still cool so don't......What was I talking about? Time to talk to Mr. Bong. HaHaHa.
Reply