God Of War

Is a Video-game series. It puts the player into the angry sandals of angry Spartan Kratos. The best hack'n'slash game. Seriously you hack'n'slash the shit out of everything. And then. . .Have sex with random women in short, the good life.

Kratos is so badass he doesn't even look at the camera.


Just The Facts

  1. The Game's creator David Jaffe is a man as well-known for ranting on his blog as he is for God of War
  2. It is the only Game that lets you kill EVERYTHING in Greek mythology. You name it Kratos has Decapitated/Disembowled/Evicerated/Called it hurtful names.
  3. The game has "inspired" game developer's to "borrow" it's gameplay mechanics, Soon to be released Dante's inferno and Castlevania are two such title's.
  4. As revealed in GoW2 Kratos is illiterate.


God of War:Chains of Olympus introduces us to Kratos, who After making a deal with Ares the god of War to destroy his enemies and in return he will be his servant, but Ares tricks Kratos into killing his wife and child. The gods send Kratos to the city of Attica to defend it from Persians. Kratos arrives and kills EVERYONE, even the persian king (Whom Kratos kills by smashing his skull with the gold chests used to try bribe him) Then Kratos fights a Basilisk, whom he, yup you gussed it, he kills. Then things get crazy and the sun drops from the sky. Kratos then has to stop Morpheus. After going to the underworld and ripping the head off of everyone, Kratos uncover's a conspiracy to kill the Gods by Persephone the wife of Hades, apparently Hades can't satisfy his woman so she unleashes the titan Atlas, but not before tricking Kratos into giving up his power to be with his daughter. Kratos literally pushes his Daughter away in one of the funniest QTE's ever. Needless to say Kratos kick Persephone's and Atlas's collective ass. Kratos then realises he's done some bad things and goes all Emo and jumps off a cliff. But Athena saves him.

God of War 1 starts with Kratos on a ship being attacked by a hydra,Example:

We then find out that Kratos is going to Kill Ares, beacause fighting multi-headed sea snakes gets boring after a while. He arrives at Athens but he scares the Oracle into taking a swan-dive off a cliff. Good one Kratos. The story then shifts to the Desrt of Lost Souls to find Pandora's box, which is in a temple strapped to the Titan Cronos's back. After retrieving the box, Ares hurls a freaking tree at Kratos but death doesn't stop a guy like him so get ready for it. . .He crawls out of hell!. Kratos then uses the box's power to grow as big as Ares. The two fight and Ares tortures Kratos by killing his Wife and Child again in front of him. Kratos then uses the Blade of the Gods to kill Ares. But it's not all happy endings, Athena tells him she can't erase his memories because killing you're wife and child is, like really bad. So kratos then jumps off the cliffs again, but after saving him again, The Gods make him the new God of War. Sweet!.

God of War 2 starts off with Kratos attacking Rhodes, proving he's as competent a God of War as Dick Cheney is a marksman. Zeus gets pissed off so he strips Kratos of his powers and brings the Colossus of Rhodes to life, After some foreplay, they finally get down to the good stuff, Kratos Hacks'n'slashes the Colossus. . .from the inside. But as Kratos smiles at the camera (Im kidding,he never does that.Ever) The colossus slams his hand on a now-mortal-Kratos, gravely injuring him. Never missing the chance to kick a guy while he's down, Zeus shows up and impales Kratos with a really big sword, like he's compensating for something. Kratos says a pretty badass line before dying. But Gaia has other plans, she ressurects Kratos. To get revenge Kratos must go to the Island of Creation, to see the Sisters of fate. After some killing and eye-goughing Kratos fights two of the sisters, as they fight he goes through the many events of his life. Finally Kratos finds the Loom chamber. He kills the final sister and goes back to before Zeus killed him, He claims the Ancient blade and has an epic fight with Zeus which ends wih Zeus bombarding Kratos with lightning until Kratos says he surrenders. Before Zeus can finish him Kratos pins his hands and begins to run Zeus through with the Ancient blade. Athena arrives and helps Zeus, but Kratos kills her accidentally with a blow meant for Zeus. Before she dies she reveals that Kratos is Zeus's son. Kratos then rallies the Titan's. The story then shows Zeus on Olympus with the other Gods when everything starts to shake, they look down to see Gaia and the Titan's climbing Olympus with Kratos on her back.

God of War 3 will show Kratos final battle with the Gods. If there's one thing for sure, someone's gonna lose an eye. . .


Kratos signature wepons are the Blades of Chaos, they're swords attached to chains for long and short range attacks. God of War uses three attacks for combat, light,heavy and grab. Most enemies die instantly when grabbed, but some bigger enemies have QTE's, such as the Minotaur where you have to hammer circle to drive you're blades down it's throat (kinky) or the cyclops whose eye you pull out to earn rewards.

There are a number of magical attacks unlocked as you play. There is an electricity attack that when used cause Kratos to shout "I AM THE GOD OF WAR" every time it's used, like the a senile old-man. A bow can be used for ranged attacks. Also some boss character's give you abilities such as Stone gaze which is gained after beheading Medusa (and Euryale in the sequel).

Killing enemies and opening chests give you orbs. There are three main types of orb's. Red=Experience. Green=Health.Blue=Magic.

Kratos can obtain weapons throughout the game, such as The spear of Destiny, the Gauntlets of Zeus, Typhon's Bane. These weapons can be switched back and forth with the Blades of Chaos.

As mentioned above, each Boss battle ends in a QTE, here are some of the more notable kills.

Medusa-By twirling the sticks left and right you violently snap her neck then bash circle to pull it clean off.

The cerberus-After first snapping it two heads, Kratos then rams his hands down its throat and disembowles it. Nice doggie.

The Colossus-Stabbing and swinging around the figure before breaking its structure from the inside.

Icarus-Kratos rips his wings off as they fall so he can glide to safety.

The Basilisk-Kratos slams its head into two tower before hooking his blades in and snapping its jaw.

Zeus-Using the blades to pin his hands before ramming the Blade into his stomach.

God of War 3 is set to introduce freeform QTE's and climbing also more enemies on screen at once.

With improved graphics GoW3 should make all the Blood, Guts, Gore and all round violence even more pretty.

That's Helios. The God of the Sun. Soon to be the God of Decapitation.