Jazz

Jazz - That indefinable something, that all-encompassing concept, that peak of technical ability, that twat in the corner with his eyes shut clicking his fingers

Just The Facts

  1. Jazz started in New Orleans
  2. Jazz was an African-American genre, with black musicians and black listeners. Nowadays a Jazz concert will have one black person attending, playing double bass
  3. The longest song in Jazz history started in May 1938 and is still not finished

Annoying

Why do people get so annoyed with Jazz?

Is it because for a younger generation bought up on pounding pounding techno music, Miami Bass and power slides, the slick tap of a brush on a snare drum and the sudden, syncopated ejaculation of a saxophone just seems to take itself too seriously?

Bap

Bap!

Or, is it because the muscians honestly don't seem to give a damn about the audience, but are more interested in achieving the most difficult sequence of notes in the shortest time possible?

bee

Bee doop!

Finally, is it for the simple reason that the only place everyday folk actually hear Jazz are in the places that we feel most uncomfortable - waiting rooms, shitty restaurants, malls and elevators?

da

Dan na na!

In all likelihood, it is all of those things, and more. However, credit should be given where credit is due. Jazz is associated with practically everything that is considered 'cool' nowadays (even first using the word 'cool' to mean 'good'). Things such as:

spats

Spats

speak

Speakeasys

gangster

Gangsters

trilby

The Trilby

usher

Fuck you Usher, fuck you so hard