If they were psychic, why didn't they call me?

If knew I what the future held, live in a swamp with no resale value would I?

Just The Facts


I am so weak willed that Diana Ross can describe my destiny

Thousands of years ago Druids were content with predicting eclipses and tended to wear mullets. And they did a pretty good job at it. Then the Romans kicked their asses and then we had the BBC.

However, somewhere between the Romans and Doctor Who, Alestier Crowley and Gerald Gardner got together and said, "There is a strong likelihood that we could get laid, old bean, should we refer to being naked as 'sky-clad'. Oh, yeah and we should be psychic. Or magical somethings".

"Well," said Crowley, "there is a rich history of oracles and unaccounted for premonitions".

Gardner was fascinated by Crowley's frank assesment of the situation.

Then Crowley said, "Nah, I'm shitting you, man! Let's get laid!"

That was, more or less, the birth of modern psychics.

Now, I'm not saying that the planet doesn't have mind blowing weirdness soaked in crazy, but there's also bullshit soaked in crazy. Cranks and charlitans abound in the world of psychic phenomenon. For instance, if a friend tells you not to eat something from the Taco Bell "Volcano menu" because he forsees your intestines being left behind in a bathroom somewhere is not an example of "psychic powers". That is probably an example of the power of "experience". On the other hand, if a friend greets you by shaking your hand, his eyes roll back in his head and he sounds like Christoper Walken when he tells you "Don't get on the plane", you better damn well take that as a real psychic experience.

Crock-o-shittery aside, there is a small amount of statistically significant evidence that proves the existance of psychic powers, if not true magical powers. Some of the most accurately recorded examples of psychic powers are seen in film and television. Movies like Firestarter, X-Men, The Sixth Sense and the Star Wars movies. For example, in Star Wars even non-Jedi were having "bad feelings" about something. If that's not psychic I would like to know what is. And TV? Damn, psychic powers are everywhere; past and present: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, Ghost Whisperer, Night Gallery, The Twilight Zone to name just a few.

What we have, ultimately, is anecdotal evidence of crap and documented evidence of real, bona fide psychicness in documentary format. After having weighed all the factors together, I have to say, it is up to you to decide.