Keira Knightley

Keira Knightley is a delicate, etherial, talented disciple of the Nicholas Cage school of acting.

She must have talent, her other screen assets are negligable.

Just The Facts

  1. Kiera Knightley is her real name
  2. That is her real body.
  3. She is well known for decidedly dodgy accents and having a facial range only slightly greater than Nicholas Cage

Who is this woman?

Cunningly born in Teddington, England, to allow her at least some chance at doing costume drama well, Kiera is living proof that, just occasionally, the British can produce a decent looking woman.

Your typical Teddington girl

The daughter of an actor and a playwright, her disl dilex dyslexia meant she had very little hope of becoming an astrophysicist, so from age of 6 she joined the family trade.

Famously willing to talk to the media about everything under the sun, except her private life, she is involved in the work of both Amnesty International and, for Womans Aid, a short film called Cut.

Warning: Do not play this at work, unless you work in HR - you'll want to kill someone.

The Acting

Pre Fame

Odd parts from the age of 6. Mainly in television, plus a film credit in Star Wars Episode one - she was Queen Amidala's decoy.

Bend it Like Beckham

A surprising hit in the States, where they don't even give a shit about (real) football, never mind womens football, Bend it Like Beckham firmly placed Kiera as a rising star. Hollywood studios took one look at her, and declared their long search for the upper class, decorative English bird to replace Vivien Leigh and Meryl Streep at an end. A pigeonhole she has firmly been stuck in ever since.

Pirates Trilogy


Much Better

In the Pirates trilogy, her character Elizabeth Swann was the lynchpin, primarily due to the almost magical abilty she has not to overact like a two year old on speed (Johnny Depp - we are calling you out here...) or be distracted by the nearest reflective surface (Uh - both of you guys, actually). No matter how convoluted or down right retarded the plot twists became, she valiantly met them all with a smudge on her cheek and a choice of two facial expressions.

A Little Enhancement Perhaps?

Knightley, sans enhancement, as Guinavre

What the real Guinavre might look like

A new direction for Knightley was the epic King Arthur. A success at the box office, partially due to a substantially misleading enhancement of the leading lady's charms, the film allowed Knightley to add an additional facial expression, and weapon, to her range.


As proven by Madonna, into every charmed life a little rain must fall. Or in Knightley's case - the film Domino. Rated as an ADD crapfest by most reviewers, it's only charm was letting Knightley try (and fail miserably) to sound tough. Who knew that corsets added so much to line delivery!

The Duchess

Good job hairspray has not yet been invented

Uh - lets stick with the fictional version on this

Back in corset and crinoline land once more. Sadly, her undoubted skill with swords, bows and guns was neglected in favour of her trademark "deer in the headlights" look. Leading to a visual feast of a film which managed to imply that Ralph Fiennes is either gay or incredibly stupid.

Coming Soon, To a Screen Near You

With 4 more films due for release in 2010, this is one actress who is not going to fade from our screens any time soon. And yes - two of them are costume dramas.

And fanboi's take heart - she is still one of the most popular actresses for photoshopping on the net

Because she's worth it. Or some sad gits thing she needs it