Metroid is a sci-fi video game that spans over many nintendo consoles in both 2D and first person. It centers around the games protagonist, Samus Aran, an armour suit dawning intergalactic bounty hunter, who oddly enough never hunts a single bounty

Yes, this is a normal female, dress as a game character. I'll let you hose your brains off the walls and floors.

Holy shit, what happened to barney?!?!

I'm here for your soul!!! And Maybe any remnants of Caruso's talent... No, I'd starve...

Just The Facts

  1. Metroids are extremely weak against the cold
  2. Despite knowing this Samus has not once started any of her metroid based missions with the ice beam
  3. If Samus did stat with the ice beam the chozo gods of collecting items would stike samus with power up removing lighting and make her collect all the item she already had which will all be on her current plant because the chozo knew she was coming
  4. For a woman limited by the strick regulations of the god-like chozo, she still manages to kick the crap out of the bug like space pirates,


Despite it's many flaws, you can not deny the impact Metriod has had on the world of video games, and the players of video games. Metriod gave us something new, and something though many have tried, no one else has done quiet the same way. It gave a kick ass, hot woman protagonist.

Why is this important? Well, simple. Roughly one half of the earth's population is made up of women. Women are capable of kicking ass and taking names. After all, Alien would not have been the same without Ripley.

The Metriod is kind of like an evil electrified jelly fish from hell that suck the life out of you faster then David Caruso changes sunglasses.

The metriods are used by the space pirate for there many unexplained experiments. The space pirates follow the orders of mother brain, who is... a giant brain who doesn't appear in most of the games actually. Her right hand of doom Ridley in all the games, is a dragon who really likes getting it's ass kicked by the blonde in the chozo power suit.

Each game takes you on a new adventure, kick space pirate, Dragon, and of course metriod ass. Ferquently new innovations will be applied to the games as technology evolves. I'll take you through some of them.

Metriod for the classic NES, you lay waste to the Pirate infeted planet Zebes.

Metroid 2 for Game boy, same basic idea, only a new planet SR388 the metroid hom world. Oh, and now we have save points.

Super Metriod, for the SNES, new graphics, more new toys, and a return to Zebes.

Metroid Prime for the Gamecube, 3-D first person games. Still basic idea of explore, power up, and kick pirate ass, but now it's in 3-D with better A.I.

Metroid Prime 3 for the Wii, like metroid prime, only much faster paced and the new targeting system is much more intuitive.

All in all it makes for a fun and entertaining series. And once you find yourself in the clutches of the metriods, it's not uncommon to find yourself saying, get your claws off me you you damn dirty jelly fish.