Teenagers

On the great road of life the teenage stage is the equivalent of a seedy gay toilet block. There are unpleasant smells, splatters of bodily fluids and the impending possibility of herpes.

Just The Facts

Don't move... They cannot see you if you don't move
Can be found in large packs roaming outside most 7-11's
Make friend groups based on their douchey haircuts

What is a Teenager?

The teenager can range from the ages of 13-15 (Tweens) 16-17 (Jail-bait) and 18-19 (Age of consent)

They display abnormal amounts of emotions, wear fashionable clothing and usually have the intelligence of your average Youtube commenter.

Considered in most cultures to be the onset of adulthood and maturity the teenager works hard to live up to society standards, before being destroyed by alcohol at the age of 18 (or 21 for you sober Americans).

Language

Teenagers use a language known as TXT TLK (not to be confused with 133t 5P34K NOOBFAG)

While hard to understand at first members of the older generation have deciphered the language in order to understand and spy on their teen-aged activities.

It makes sence now!

Culture

If the Simpsons has taught us anything, Teenagers can be broken up into the two basic groups

-Jocks

-Nerds

Any deviation from these social groups results in isolation, self harm and eventually suicide.

We can only hope

There is a very specific social ladder that applies to the teenage culture

Silly emos... a gun is faster

Teenage culture has become popular among the older generation too, with actors and celebrities tying to imitate the 'cool' lifestyle that teenagers exhibit. Plastic surgery has enabled us to keep our youthful appearances while still retaining the maturity that comes with age.

"Hes having a heart attack!"

ElissaJanelle

04/21/11 10:22 AM

I assure you American teens have also destroyed themselves with alcohol by 18...actually depending on the state that age may be earlier... for rednecks...