Gears of War

Are you going to mess with these motherfuckers?

Just The Facts

Throughout the life of Gears of War, it has achieved many prestigious awards such as - Four Spike TV awards, 11 M16's, 10 AIAS and many more.
According to Microsoft the sequel to Gears of War, Gears of War 2, sold 2 million copies opening weekend.
Gears of war has a great following due to it's excessive gore, blood and good storyline.

Cracked on Gears of War

Gears of War is the story on Marcus Fenix, a extreme hardass who was in jail for killing a room full of people by being so godamn awesome. He lives on a planet called Sera, colonized by humans, and is located relatively far from Earth. Everything was going just swell until outta of the clear blue, giant alien beings started popping out of the ground like the worms in the beginning of Godzilla. Locust as they were know as these aliens have one mission and one mission only, to take over Sera and stop whoever gets in their way.

Basically Marcus is sprung out of jail by a Hispanic man named Doiminic Santiago and is rudely enlisted into the army of Sera - the COGS(Coalition of Ordered Governments). Eventually they meet up with Victor Hoffman, whom is some wrinkly, old badass who hates Marcus' guts(refer to charcter analysis below). But by golly Marcus is not going to let that stop his trail of bodies.

Skipping forward eventually Marcus meets up with two other members of Alpha Squad - Agustus Cole and Damon Baird. Who are also complete crazy motherfuckers. But since both squads lost two people they combine and become Delta Squad.

They find out their mission is to map out the hive of underground tunnels to figure out where the locust are and coordinate the giant fucking nuclear bomb strike.

Unfortunetly the only place to do this is at the freakin doorstep of her holiness the locust queen, who is shitting out Locust like a bitch.

Through alot of fighting, and death and sorrow the resonator is planted and Marcus saves the day.

Not really, he finds out it doesn't work and gets pissed. Then delta squad has got to cover their fuck up and find another map which they do and save the day.

Not quite yet, they first fight a wave a mutant cave dwellers to get to a fucking giant ass Locust bitch with a huge ass weapon - RAAm. Whom they tactifully take down and bomb the locust to hell. Until they come back in Gears of war 2........

Characters

Marcus Fenix - The main protaganist in Gears, Marcus was born 21 years before emergence day and served in the Pendulum wars prior to the Locust invasion. He is sergeant of Delta Squad and was imprisoned after abandoning his post to try to save his father Adam Fenix. After completing his mission to detonate the lightmass bomb Marcus now has some newfound respect among the COG hierarchy. He is currently 36.

Bite me, I dare you

Dominic Santiago - A little lighter character then Marcus. Dominic is a veteran with his fighting and has lost a brother to the Pedulum War. His is extremely loyal to Marcus and is light even in the darkest of situations. He is quick with a joke, and anything to lighten up a situation. He is looking for his wife throughout the story of Gears. But does not actually find her till GOW2. This passion to find her, drives Dom to become quite a loyal but ferocious soldier.

His neck is the size of my thigh!

Damon Baird - A very cynicle and sarcastic member of Delta squad, Baird is extremely Tech-savvy and is great with machines. This has become a valuable asset to Delta Squad as it has gotten them out of trouble more then once. He takes offense when he disagrees with someone in command, and is angered that Marcus is given Sergeant instead of him. Pessamistic and believes firmly in Murphy's law.

Agustus Cole - A jocky, ecstatic person, Cole is the heart of Delta Squad. Extremely good at thrashball, Cole enlisted right after emergence day. His "pumped-up" style of playing is brought into the war and is quickly transformed into his great ability to fight. Most people just refer to him as the Cole train.

Can't stop the train baby!

Victor Hoffman - A colonel and second highest in command in the COG army. He is a seasoned veteran of the Locust and Pendulum wars. Extremely "gung-ho" Hoffman is a very tough and strict leader. Due to this Hoffman was the one who threw Marcus in Jail. Later though Hoffman comes around to liking Marcus out of necessity.

Pictured above:

Complete Hardass

General Raam - A General in the Locust army, Raam was once a Theron guard but through his cunning he moved up in ranks. He is one of the main reasons the Locust's were doing as well as they were. A great stratagist millions of human blood is on his hands. He is eventually defeated at the end of Gears of War trying to protect the detonation of the lightmass bomb.

Back in black!

Locust Queen - Formerly known as Queen Myrrah, the Queen is the utmost authority in the Locust Hierarchy, she has full loyalty and command over her troops. She looks romotely human while being extremely intelligent. She also somehow knows Adam Fenix.

Quote: Agustus Cole - "I thought she was supposed to be butt-ugly?!"

Memorable Quotes

Dominic Santiago - [noticing odd Locust soldier] Uhh... Those aren't drones.
Marcus Fenix - Shit.... Looks like they upgraded.
Damon Baird - [on radio] They're called Theron Guards.
Dominic Santiago - You think they know what we're doing?
Marcus Fenix - Well, we're not here to sell cookies... So they know something's up.

Marcus Fenix - Baird, what's the status on that APC?
Damon Baird - [over radio] The status is that it sucks.

Augustus Cole - [under fire] Yeah! Wooo! Bring it on, sucka! This is my kindashit!

Marcus Fenix - SUCK PAVEMENT!

Dominic Santiago - Welcome back to the army, soldier.
Marcus Fenix - Shit.

Marcus Fenix - Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?
Anya - [over radio] GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?
Damon Baird: [over radio] There's shit everywhere!
Augustus Cole - [over radio] C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.
Damon Baird -[over radio] Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.
Dominic Santiago - ...No way.
Marcus Fenix - Sucks to be them.

Benjamin Carmine - What's are these glowing, red plants?

Marcus Fenix - What do I look like, a fucking botanist? Some kind of plant, I don't know

Damon Baird - Damn, that ain't right, I'm coughing up blood that's not even mine.

Dizzy - That Brumaks' gonna molest ma Betty!

Agustus Cole - Delta Squad is in your house, Bitch! You hear that shit?! You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way down--dead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skanky-ass queen! Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us! Fuck you! We gonna whup your momma's ass! Woo!"

Damon Baird - There we go. One muzzled queen. Not you, her. You were great... I love your speech there, especially with the Bitch-ass stuff. Very good, very enlightening.