Jean-Paul Sartre is a dead philosopher. He was also a key figure in existentialism! Get his last name right first. It rhymes with Fart, has two syllables, and ends with a slight "ruh." Pronounced: Sart-Ruh. Now you can pick up chicks.
Jean-Paul Sartre was very smart, very short, and very French. He liked the company of other short people, including Pablo Picasso. He is considered one of the founding fathers of existentialism and will forever be in our hearts and minds for that.
His philosophy is actually pretty complex, but can be summed up in the following quotes:
"Hell is other people."
"God...is only the concept of the Other pushed to the limit."
"Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance."
"Life begins on the other side of despair."
"Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices."
Okay, are you feeling any better? No.
Well then, you should do what Sartre liked to do.
Drink whisky, smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, and take drugs. And that's about it. Oh, and write a lot.