Shilivering A Baby

Shilivering a baby happens when you sit on the toilet and, instead of shitting, you deliver a full-term baby. It's kind of like sharting or shissing.

She could be about to shiliver or she's just fat.

Just The Facts

  1. Many women do not menstruate every month. Some may only menstruate 3 or 4 times a year.
  2. Very often these women are freakishly thin or really, really fucking fat.
  3. An average woman's first clue of pregnancy is missing a period and an unusual puffiness, but certain skinny/fat low-flow gals often end up shilivering.

"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" (and I'm not even Irish)

Traditionally, shilivering a baby was something that only happened to Irish Catholic women. The Colleens and Kathleens had long become accustomed to sexual abuse and because of their high-carb/booze diets had accepted their beer guts years ago. Skipping periods was yet another blessing from God and so the denial ran deep. Nowadays, microscopic vegans and gargantuan protestants alike share in the phenomenon known as shilivering a baby. So much so that the stellar network TLC presents a show called, are you ready for this?: "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." The episodes write themselves. Skinny/Fatty only noticed vague differences such as being extra bitchy and pukey but she always finds something to excuse this like stress or allergies. Next thing she knows bad gas turns into a bouncing baby boy-in the toilet! That's a White Castle commercial waiting to be written. I don't work for TLC but I strongly suggest that you tune in to this program. BYOBB!*

*the extra "B" stands for barfbag.

Six Celebrities Most Likely to Shiliver a Baby

1. Kate Moss

2. Mo'Nique

3. Mary Kate Olsen

4. Chef Blythe Beck

5. Lara Flynn Boyle

6. Susan Boyle