Metal Gear Solid

Metal Gear Solid is a series of game's that started on Playstation and ended on Playstation 3. This topic will be focussing on Metal Gear Solid 1, 2, 3 and 4, not the portable versions or the console ports.

Actually, MGS4 isn't that bad. MGS2 can still burn in hell, but at least try MGS4

Just The Facts

  1. Metal Gear Solid was created by Hideo Kojima, for Konami on Playstation
  2. It was a follow-up to the games "Metal Gear" and "Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake"
  3. There was also a radio drama, but it won't be detailed here, since it was a dumbass idea

So what's the deal? More whacky Japanese anime style gaming?

Well, sort of. If it were a cartoon, it would be full of flashing lights, and characters sliding back and forth across the screen. But it revolutionised the stealth genre in gaming. It was fully 3D, and the whole premise was not to be seen, rather than the more popular "Run in guns blazing while shouting cheap catchphrases" tactic, which a lot of people favoured back then. The idea of sneaking around in a game is intriguing, not in a perverted way, but in a way so as to obtain enemy documents or assasinate an evil crime lord. It was new and exciting.

All the games in the series have added something new to gaming. MGS added stealth, MGS2 added an effeminate whining sissy (who could still probably kick all of our asses without even trying), MGS3 added the dangers of the wilderness, and MGS4 added medical examinations.

Dr Snake says "Turn your head and cough! NOW!"

As for the storyline, it's extremely in depth and heavily detailed, which led to complaints towards the end of the series from people who felt they'd paid a lot of money just to watch a movie, with occasional interactivity. While this is untrue and slightly unfair, the cut-scenes of MGS4 did drag slightly, one stretching out to about 90 fucking minutes, and many players felt the need to skip them, just to get back to gameplay, which of course, meant they lost out on information that ties up loose ends of the plot.

Synopsis (The Short Version)

It would be impossible to explain the plot of the series in its entirety without making mistakes or missing parts out, so this short synopsis will contain vital parts that contribute to the finale.


Metal Gear Solid

The year is 2005. Shadow Moses, a Nuclear Weapons Facility, has been taken over by terrorists, who have managed to get their hands on a large Nuclear war machine known as "Metal Gear". The terrorist group, while mainly filling space with soldiers, has some odd warriors on the team, such as Psycho Mantis, a psychic dude who knows what games you like to play. As long as your game saves are from Konami. There's also Vulcan Raven, an inuit who can guess what's going to happen next, Sniper Wolf, an iraqi sniper who has a hard on for working solo and taking muscle relaxants, and Decoy Octopus, a master of disguise who isn't very good at much else. They plan to use the Metal Gear if they don't receive the remains of Big Boss, the greatest warrior of the 20th century.

He looks like a senior citizen who sits on the bus all day farting!

To stop the nasty evildoers, Colonel Roy Campbell has no alternative but to call John McClane Batman Solid Snake, one clone of Big Boss out of three that were created, the other two being Liquid Snake and Solidus Snake, which is confusing, since to connect each clone, the last one should surely have been named Gas Snake. Hmmm. Anyway, Solid Snake manages to infiltrate the base, teaming up with Meryl Silverburgh, a sassy young soldier who is Snakes love interest throughout the game. Snake battles a variety of odd soldiers, including Revolver Ocelot, who isn't really an ocelot at all, but a man who likes twirling revolvers around. Oh, he also likes shooting people. Thankfully, a ninja cuts one of his arms off. Yes, you read that right. A ninja. Who is also, like, part cyborg or something. Anyway, as the story progresses, it turns out that Snakes medical contact, Dr Naomi Hunter, has injected him with a virus called FoxDie, which kills certain people by giving them heart attacks. Yes, again, you read that right, there is a virus that people can get that gives other people around them heart attacks. Sooooooo, Snake eventually fights the mastermind of the takeover, his evil twin brother, Liquid Snake. They fight, Liquid gets into Metal Gear, he fails thanks to the ninja from earlier, and then Solid and Liquid have a little slap fight. Snake wins and Liquid dies of a heart attack. Then there are two endings. One involves Meryl being dead and Snake running off with his new life partner, Otacon, a geek who likes pissing himself in his spare time. In the canon ending, Meryl is alive and Snake runs off with her, while Otacon stays behind to wait for death by nuclear missiles, which unfortunately never happens.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty

The story begins on a tanker on the Hudson river in the year 2007. Snake infiltrates the tanker after hearing that a new Metal Gear is aboard. He and Otacon are now part of a non-government orgainization, who are trying to stop the production of Metal Gear. RIGHTEOUS! YEAH! *ahem* Unfortunately, while Snake is aboard, the tanker is overtaken by Russian terrorists led by Sergei Gurlukovich, who is a bit miffed that he doesn't have any Metal Gear. Strangely, he decided to bring his daughter, Olga Gurlukovich, along for the trip, who is pregnant. Yes, a man has willingly brought his pregnant daughter on a mission that will definately involve death. So after Snake spends about 15 minutes mercilessly killing random russians, he meets Olga, who challenges him to a firefight. Now yes, Snake is the kind of person that would relish shooting a pregnant woman, but the player isn't damn it! So instead, the only option is to use a tranquiliser gun, so as not to harm her. Once Snake bests her in battle, he obtains her gun. At this point, the player can shoot Olga in the face, but then get's told off by Otacon for being a prick. After Snake makes his way down into the ships hull, he discovers Ocelot is working with the russians and that he's grafted Liquid Snakes arm onto his stump. The arm then starts controlling him, and at that point, he becomes Liquid, or Liquid Ocelot. Yes, the arm starts to possess him. Honestly, it seems weird now, but by the end, it'll make sense. Kind of. In a way. So, Liquid Ocelot steals the new Metal Gear and runs away like a pussy. Come on, he had a fucking nuclear powered robot, Snake had a handgun. There is no way he could have lost! So the tanker gets blown to fuck and Liquid Ocelot gets away. Snake is missing.

Statement retracted. Turns out he's playing Hide and Seek with Russians. Which is kind of the point of the whole game.

Cue Raiden. The single most annoying character since Otacon. But don't worry, Otacon is in this game too. Anyway, Raiden, acting under the name "Snake" for the first 10 minutes of his segment, infiltrates an oil rig, where the President has been kidnapped by a terrorist group called Sons of Liberty. They are claiming to be led by Solid Snake, but surely Solid Snake is the hero. Or is he the bad guy? Who knows. Let's read on. Raiden meets a soldier who calls himself Iroquois Pliskin during a battle with Vamp, a creepy homosexual who moves faster than Jack Osbourne at a buffet! So after they chase of Vamp, Pliskin and Raiden find an old man called Stillman who is apparently a bomb specialist who arrived with a special forces team, whose mission was to save the President, which is also Raidens mission, and Pliskins. This guy must be pretty damn good at his job to have all these people trying to save him. Stillman is there because his old pupil, Fatman (yes, Fatman) is with the terrorists and has planted bombs all over the facility. So, Raiden disarms all the bombs and kills Fatman, using a combination of bullets and seagull feces. Raiden also faces off against Fortune, a woman who can't be killed, due to the fact that bullets are so repulsed by her, they change direction just to avoid contact. Fortune, Vamp and Fatman are all part of a group called Dead Cell. This was probably a way of making them feel better about having freakish abilities and weight problems. Raiden also meets a ninja, similar to the one in the first game. This one's calling itself "Mr X".


To cut the very long story down to size, Raiden finds the president, who gets killed by Ocelot, the terrorist leader isn't Solid Snake at all, but is Solidus Snake. Pliskin reveals that he is Solid Snake (no fuckin shit!) and Otacons sister, Emma, is at the facility. After finding out about Arsenal Gear, a ship sized Metal Gear, Raiden and Emma aim to use a virus to destroy the A.I. Unfortunately, she is killed by Vamp and the virus does get into the system, but only just. Otacon has a bit of a cry, and Mr X reveals him/herself to be Olga Gurlukovich. Raiden is tortured by Solidus, and is revealed to be his adopted son, and an ex-child soldier. Obviously, he blanked out his memory of war due to the fact that it was mildly interesting and would have probably made quite a good, but controversial game. Raiden manages to escape, and fight off a bunch of Metal Gear Rays, while Snake fights Fortune. Is everyone on the same page? Probably not, but this is really the way it goes down. Liquid Ocelot steals one of the Metal Gear Rays in an attempt to kill the patriots, a shadowy group pulling the strings behind the scenes. Snake goes after him. Solidus and Raiden fight after Arsenal Gear crashes in New York. Raiden wins, Solidus dies, everyone is a winner. Except the player, who is really fucking confused.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Right, let's go back in time to 1964. The Cold War is raging, and CIA agent, Naked Snake, lands in Tselinoyarsk, oddly enough not naked at all. Dissapointing for some, a blessing for most. His mission? To save a defecting soviet scientist, Sokolov, who has created the Shagohod, an old school Metal Gear. Unfortunately the USSR are less than happy about losing a top scientist and plan to stop him from leaving. This puts Snakes mission in a bit of a pickle, since the whole point is to get him out of the country. Looks like this won't be one of those "Walk in, walk out, everyones happy" missions after all! Snake is being aided by Major Zero, a gruff british man who enjoys Tea, Scones and James Bond, which he never stops informing Snake about! There's also Paramedic, who's obsessed with everything Japanese, from Godzilla to dry noodles! Finally, The Boss, Snakes former mentor, a hard as nails woman who could probably kill a rhino with a stare. When Snake finally finds Sokolov, it turns out The Boss has defected and joined up with the lightening powered Colonel Volgin, whom she gives two small nukes. He opted for the more expensive bundle, with the nuke launcher included. No need to waste time finding a seperate perephiral. Also present are the Cobra Unit, this games answer to Dead Cell or FOXHOUND. We have The End, an old codger with a boner for sniping and parrots, The Fear, a man with aspirations for becoming Spider-man, The Fury, an astronaut that apparently landed on the sun and The Pain, a dude with bees inside him. Maybe the writers were high or something. Oh, and The Sorrow, but he's not really of any use to anyone, you know, being dead and all. So The Boss kicks the shit out of Snake, who lives with the humiliation of getting his ass kicked by a girl. That's right, he lives, or there'd be no story. But he does have to fix his own broken arm, because the rescue helicopter won't arrive until he does! Whilst this is happening, Volgin fires a nuke, which ASSPLODES, and causes Russia to think that America is attacking them with radiation. Seriously, does anyone remember nukes being used in the Cold War?

"Lick it!"

So, Snake flies back to Russia, gets his ass kicked by a girl, AGAIN, meet's a hot blonde called Eva and has an awesome pistol duel with a teenage Revolver Ocelot. Only, he just called Ocelot here, since it's Snake who suggests he switches to a revolver. He might aswell tell him to cut off his own arm now, get it over and done with. Anyway, Snake fights and kills the Cobra Unit one by one, except The Sorrow, who's already dead, but that was mentioned before. Sokolov is killed by Volgin and Snake dresses up like Raiden (wait, isn't he from 2007? What is this, Back To The Future meets Brokeback Mountain?) to trick Volgin, who's in love with Raiden (again, this is 1964, right?). Well, things go a bit wrong and Snake gets caught and tortured, but a bit of entertainment on Ocelots part (revolver juggling) goes horribly wrong when Snakes eye gets shot out. If he was serious about this childrens entertainment business, Ocelot would be fucking arrested by now!

Pictured: Not Revolver Ocelot

So, Snake escapes from his cell, now with only one eye and no stuff, to look for Eva, who has his stuff, since she's been undercover acting as Sokolovs wife/Volgins rape victim. Snake runs into The Sorrow when HE DIES FOR A BIT! Yes, just a bit. The Sorrow tortures Snake by making him walk down a river extremely slowly, into oncoming tide's of his dead enemies, which, if the player is any fucking good, will be vast and impenitrable. But, the sequence has to end somewhere, Snakes second death to be exact, from which he recovers using pills. That's right kids, no matter what life throws at you, drugs make everything better. Snake gets his stuff and goes back to the base to fight Volgin and destroy the Shagohod. He succeeds at both, after Volgin gets hit by lightening for being an asshole. Snake and Eva go off on her motorbike, only to clumsily crash, injuring Eva, meaning Snake has to drag her sorry butt through a jungle infested with enemies that seem to appear from spawn points that have no end. Soon, they find a GEV that is conveniantly there, so they plan to escape. But Snake can't just walk away after getting completely messed up TWICE by The Boss, so he goes back to kick her ass. He succeeds after she shows him her bare chest and stomach. Including a gross snake-like scar. Ew. This probably means she's Ocelots mother, or something. So Snake and Eva take off in the GEV, but Ocelot wants one more gun-slinging-rootin-tootin faceoff. Snake accepts, and whichever way the player chooses to shoot or in some cases, not shoot, Snake lives and Ocelot jumps off the vehicle, grinning inanely at his superior intelligence and use of blanks! Snake and Eva have a bit of casual floor rug sex, followed by Eva fucking off to china with a stolen film. Snake becomes Big Boss, and everything turns out okay. Oh, and Ocelot was working for the CIA all along, and has the real stolen film. Take that, bitch!

Pictured: Ocelot being a smug twat

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

Snake's old. Really old. Like, forgetful and annoying old. Ocelot was never Liquid, it was all hypnotism. Meryl Silverburghs back and she marries Johnny, a man who suffers from chronic diarrhea.

Above: Every rational players reaction to the Johnny character

Snake kicks Ocelots ass, along with four robots who are really hot chicks. Snake sits in a graveyard and tries to shoot himself, before meeting Big Boss, who was meant to be dead. There's no consistency anymore! Big Boss explains it was all Major Zeros fault, with his talk of buttered scones, and crumpets, and jolly old London town. So he kills him. BAM Motherfucker! Then Big Boss dies, thanks to the FOXDIE in Snakes veins. Make sense of that! No-one else could!

See, even the Nostaglia Critic doesn't know what the fucks going on!

What's the point?

The whole point of the series is obviously an anti-war/anti-nuclear message. Understandable, since it was made in Japan, the only country to be nuked. They probably know the effects of nuclear war, so maybe we should listen to them, even if the message comes through an incredibly confusing video-game series!

"Psst. Do you know what's going on?"


"Me neither!"

"What's with the skin suit?"


This game series (according to Hideo Kojima) was influenced by:

  • Escape from New York
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • The Deer Hunter
  • The Great Escape
  • The Guns of Navarone


Games influenced (obviously) by this series:

  • Splinter Cell (gameplay wise)
  • Arkham Asylum (again, gameplay wise, more from Splinter Cell, which was influenced by MGS)
  • Assassins Creed
  • Anything with stealth, theres too many rip-offs/wannabes/homages to list

Confused? So is everyone else!