Curse Words

Curse words are words that people feel are innapropriate in everyday conversations. Not to be confused with magic.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navigator.userAgent.indexOf('MSIE') !=

Just The Facts

  1. There are a large variety of curse words open to a user, each more fun to say than the last.
  2. All of the different words fall into categories, like Abusive, Idiomatic, Sexual, Emphasis, etc.
  3. Don't be fooled. Swearing is by far the most entertaining way of expressing yourself.

History of Cursing

Cursing can be traced back to biblical times. It is widely reported that whilst being tortured and crucified by the Romans, Jesus stated a number of phrases including "Where the fucks my dad?" and "My mum could have bloody turned up!" Obviously there is no hard evidence that he said these things (so don't go looking on wikipedia, I checked!) Of course, this means that we have to accept that Jesus was not a myth, so we're going to look into other sources of history for the first sign of cursing.

Note: Not evidence

In truth, some trace cursing back to William Shakespeare, who wrote quite a lot of profanity into his plays, ususally for comic effect, sometimes just to annoy Elizabeth 1st.

See? Livid!

Shakespeare enjoyed dabbling with the word "cunt" a lot in his plays, often merely hinting at the word, rather that outright shouting it at the audience. That way, no-one could call the censors! He got away with this of course, since back then, not everyone was a complete arsehead who banned shows left and right. Or maybe they were, and no-one cared. I don't know, maybe I should look into it.

My favourite curse words

As a special treat, I've listed a number of absolute corking swear words. Read on if you have no problem with "offensive" language. If you do have a problem, what are you doing on Cracked.com?

Bullshit - Originally just the word "Bull" in the 17th century, meaning "Nonsense", some clever little person decided it would be a good idea to put "Shit" onto the end of the word, thereby extending it to make angry letters seem more intelligent. Remember kids, long words can get you that A+ no matter what they mean! Unfortunately, this seemed like a pointless extension, considering the word now meant "Nonsense Excrement"! Popular uses in todays society include:

  • "That is bullshit!" - "That is nonsense!"
  • "I smell bullshit!" - "You're talking nonsense!"
  • "BULLSHIT!" - "NONSENSE!"

Shit - This brilliant word (try saying it as loud as you can, it'll make you feel better) basically means "poo". Shit has been incorporated into other words to make new swear words. Kind of like Cherry Coke or Coke Light. No-one wanted them, they just appeared and got stuck! Shit can mean a variety of things in curse terms, like bad, incompitant and descriptive. Oddly enough, it can mean good aswell. Look below for usage of the word shit to mean "Good":

  • "Shit!" - "Oh darn!"
  • "You're shit at that!" - "You aren't very good at that!"
  • "You stink of shit!" - "You have an unpleasant odour that is similar to poo!"
  • "That is the shit!" - "That is great!"

Fuck - The word that was uttered to a chorus of sniggers in the playground, for every child, this was the big one, the word that could mean trouble if heard by a person of authority. Of course, now, it's thrown about by everyone like its a greeting.

"*laughs* YOU CHEEKY FUCKER!"

Fuck is used in a variety of meanings. It can mean sex, care, it can be intended as a personal insult, it can be used on a majority. Everything:

  • "Fuck" - "Oh damn" (similar to shit, but conveys more annoyance)
  • "Fuck you!" - "Damn you!"
  • "I fucked her all night long" - "We made sweet tender love all night long!"
  • "You fuckers!" - "You rotters!"
  • "I don't give a fuck!" - "I just don't care!"

Cunt - Not for the faint of hearted, this word, if said in a place of importance, like work, church or Disneyland, can have dire consequences. It means one thing, and one thing only in the US: Vagina. But that doesn't mean it'll get you anywhere with a woman, no matter what you've heard in porn.

"I want your cunt!"

In the UK, it isn't really gender specific anymore. Over here, we use it as an insult, e.g. "You cunt!" doesn't mean "You vagina!" It's intended as a vulgar offence towards people in an attempt to get a rise out of them.

Cleeman - This is by far the funniest word I came across during my extensive reasearch (read: I looked on wikipedia). It basically means Penis Smegma, and I have to say, the examples of usage were hilarious. Take a look:

  • "Go suck some cleeman!" - "Go suck some penis smegma!"
  • "Your mother loves licking my cleeman!" - "Your mother loves licking my penis smegma!" (How anyone could say that with a straightface, I'll never know)
  • "You smelly pile of cleeman!" - "You smelly pile of penis smegma!"

Anyone who uses the word Cleeman in day to day life should spend the rest of his life cleaning smegma off old peoples junk, a just punishment I must say!

For your enjoyment

Here's a variety of HILARIOUS clips of people swearing! I think you'll agree, they're a hoot:

I don't know about you, but my favourite part happened to be "buggeration". HA HA HA! Classic!

That was shown as an advertising campaign for Channel 4 over here in the United Kingdom. As you can see, our ad departments are about as creative as a baked potatoe. Still. I giggled.