Furry Fandom

Furrys, Furfags, Furfaggots, or those sick fucks who corrupted my childhood.  We all know them but do you know about them.. if yes you are a far braver man than I as i sit typing this crying quietly to myself.

The Badge of Shame

Its okay little one they can't rape you here.

Just The Facts

  1. Furrys are people who get sick sexual release from pictures of anthropomorphic animals doing it.
  2. This is disgusting.
  3. It is okay in the eyes of a just god to put furrys down like sick animals.
  4. They masturbate to any pictures of animals.
  5. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Getting to Kow the Furverts

And they will all burn in hell

These people are the worst possible thing on the internet "Who are we to judge you know. We sit around on the computer and read comedic list based humor from our beloved Cracked.com. What they do can't be that bad can it?" You may say looking at this screen full of innocence, hope, and maybe even human decency. Do a google image search for Furry, Furvert, or Yiff images go ahead we'll wait for you.

Alright you're back how was it was it everything you thought it would be. Come on bitch at me about how its not right to judge other subcultures of people. What? These people are horrifying bastards covered in a bastard coating with a warm bastard filling, hmm thats what we were trying to say before you got in the way.

Furries In Real Life

Actual Furry Not a Furry

"Which do you prefer?"

The furries will accept anyone into their creepy little subculture thus drawing in all of the undesirables from every group.(Fatties, Pedos, Rapists, Druggies, Canadians, etc..) This makes them the worst possible group and a shining example of what not to be anywhere on the internet. In real life though there is almost no sure way to tell if someone is a furry unless they are wearing a suit. Or actively admit it in regular conversation, and they will.

What to do about the Furry Menace

Now i'm not saying go out and kill furries on sight (yes I am), but if you don't then their disease could spread and infect the people close to you. If you think you're friend or a person you know has this problem just follow this quick guide to solve that problem.

  1. Make sure, you need to know for sure if they are a furry because if they aren't its murder and your ass will get raped in jail.
  2. Get a weapon, anything really a pipe, gun, hell you can even cut off their arm and beat them to death with it.
  3. Kill them dead!
  4. Dispose of the evidence, the police may not see eye to eye with you. You just killed someone, a furry, but still someone you're probably high out of your fucking mind, and someone on the internet told you to do this. So get rid of the body and any proof a crime was committed.
  5. Celebrate, tonight you're a hero you just took out one of the worst people on the planet drink some fancy champagne and fuck a supermodel because now you're on top of the world.

Final Solutions

Lets say for a moment that you aren't reading topics on cracked.com and that you are actually in a position of power (I know its a stretch but come on) You know what lets go all the way and say you're the president of the United States of America now what can you do to take care of the furverts well, like most rational people I believe in taking the nazi approach to most problems, and as such I reccomend using massive gas chambers to kill all of the furry menace and using powerful creamatoriums (creamatoriums, wait don't i mean crematoriums yeah creamatoriums are where they make delicious ice cream and I really don't want furries in my god damn banana split.) to burn their bodies and suits too ash. By using this method you can dispose of this vile scourge on our culture. 'Cause you know those Germans they make some great stuff.

"Creamatoriums you'll be saying wow everytime!"Wait they put bodies into ice cream.