Billy Mays was a television infomercial presenter and the result of a broken home. Seniors or those with hearing problems that require a hearing aid are advised to change the channel when they hear the words "Mighty Putty."
Billy Mays can be identified by his characteristic sweet beard and stylish blue shirt. Readers may note that the consumers of Mighty Putty can be broken down as follows:
5%- People who lose links in there chains.
11%- People who find Billy Mays sexually attractive (We're talking to you, age 50-68 year olds!).
15%- Citizens of the Southern USA.
69%- People who buy it as a novelty, not realizing this was Billy's intention. This must be the only explaination as to why Billy Mays is a flippin' millionaire.
It is important to take into account that if Billy Mays were to die, the resulting funeral would attract more viewers than the season finale of Lost.
Edit: He's dead now. Point proven.
Mays is the star of the Discovery Channel's programme Pitchmen. Billy's importance in Pitchmen is questionable, as any idiot can see that any invention is worthy of a Billy Mays commercial ( see Tool Band-it). According to Mays, he is an avid user of every product he markets. Despite our optimistic attitude here at Cracked, we find it difficult to imagine a household in which Mighty Putty, Mighty Putty Wood, and Mighty Mendit all have relevant uses.