Eskimos came to Alaska on a magical bridge between Asia and Alaska, they freezed their asses off and managed to accomplish nothing but a few huts and a trademark look, Despite this they are awesome. We are going to talk about past and present Eskimo.
Just The Facts
- "Eskimo" is an Indian word that means "Eaters of Raw Meat." You cannot be a vegetarian in Alaska
- Eskimos are most famous for their igloos, but their real homes were actually made of all the shit that they killed. Yeah, skin.
- Their way of life was perfect. I mean seriously, keep reading.
Eskimo's of the Past
Now supposedly Eskimos migrated from Asia to Alaska on a bridge made of ice. Said Ice bridge will later melt, probably causing a lot of these Eskimos to say, "Oh Shit I left my iPod back there!" I have other suspicions as to this bridges existence.
Just let imagination take over
The Eskimos promptly started a system of life that was pretty much flawless. Since no one else was around to bitch about land they didn't have to worry about outside invaders, though there was the occasional drive-by polar bear. To introduce themselves to the neighborhood they began killing whales, seals, penguins, birds, sea lions, fish, wolves, foxes, and even those polar bears. Nothing went to waste; skin was used to make tents, bones for tools, everything but theâ�¦ No they probably ate the genitals too. Snow dogs probably arrived on the scene when the Eskimos began to raise and shelter snow wolves, probably creating a TV show far more kick ass than the Dog Whisperer.
The Wolf Whisp..hhohoholy shit!
Soon a whole system of travel between communities was possible through the use of sled dogs, and humans could follow animal migratory routes even faster. These migratory routes were real bitches to the Eskimos, I mean there ain't a single Circle K on this mother fuckin' continent ! So when they had to stop and take a break they would create little huts of ice bricks.Like a Sandcastle of Survival.
Damnit Son work harder if you want to see your mother again!!!