Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain is a well published Author and bad boy Chef who goes around the world doing stuff you want to do but never will.

Yeah...I probably won't be eating at his Restaurant...

Just The Facts

  1. Anthony Bourdain has been a Chef for over 28 years.
  2. He looks better at 53 than you probably do now.
  3. He used to sweeten his Tea with Magic Mushrooms.

What Anthony Bourdain Actually Does

Anthony Bourdain seems to do a lot of things. Mostly he walks around being very poetic and smoking like a broken down Car. He likes to insult vegetarians, liken Alice Waters to a Communist and occasionally he might Cook something, although no one expects him to do that anymore.

Anthony Bourdain totally not smoking a joint...
Anthony Bourdain totally not smoking a joint...

Anthony Bourdain likes to write books. In fact he's won some awards for it. Most of his books probably consist of long sentences about why he thinks we should eat anus.
You see Tony campaigns to get people to eat the Garbage Parts of Animals. In one episode of his Television Series "No Reservations" he visited a Restaurant that exclusively serves Offal; more commonly known as the Garbage Parts of Animals.
Anthony Bourdain also hates Celebrity Chefs. Despite the fact that he totally is one.

Anthony Bourdain; The Early Years.

Tony was born in New York but then moved to New Jersey for some reason. He then did his thing for several years before attending Vassar and then the Culinary Institute of America. The Culinary Institute of America sounds like one of the most pretentious places on Earth. Although it's probably better than "That place what where you learn to grill viddles".

Batshit insane meal.
"Today's utterly pretentious, bat shit insane meal is the Bacon and Banana Cluster Fuck"

After graduating with a PHD in making French Toast Anthony Bourdain worked as a Chef for several years, getting high at every opportunity. He has often recalled in the past about how he used to do just about every single drug known to man.
"Hardly a decision was made without drugs..." he recalls fondly before explaining how he used to get a Latino busboy to be his drug mule, because seriously, who would believe a Latino was just "carrying" it for some white Guy?.
After all of those drug fuelled shenanigans Bourdain then married his High School Sweetheart in the late 80's.

Bourdain's High School Sweetheart.
Bourdain's High School Sweetheart.

What Bourdain is Probably Doing Right Now.

These days Bourdain spends most of his time either judging Top Chef, eating Testicles and Eyeballs or avoiding Alice Waters. His Television Show; No Reservations continues to this day and won a Creative Arts Emmy in 2009, probably for some sweet shots of Testicles and Anus's.
He doesn't smoke anymore apparently, due to the birth of his Daughter in 2007. Although he probably totally bums smokes off his pals on the set of No Reservations.
Also Bourdain is in Uwe Bolls "Far Cry". No, seriously, he's actually in the movie.

Bourdain in Farcry.
"I'll rip off your dick and serve it to you on a bed of Ricotta Cheese, Rocket and Beetroot"