Skeletor

Skeletor: Mortal enemy of He-man and one of the most bad-ass villains in television history. Before cartoon villains were ruined by pop culture and the lack of good cartoons now, Skeletor was seen as the undisputed king of cartoon bad-guys.

Tell me which one looks more`like he could infict Mortal-Combat like damge to you?

Just The Facts

  1. Skeletor should be able to kill He-Man but the producers won't allow it.
  2. Villains in cartoons have now become laughing stocks.
  3. Ex badass villains are now only seen as fashion items for people who shop at Hot Topic

About Skeletor

Skeletor is basically a shit-my-pants scary wizard with powers beyond mortal comprehension; yet he can't even kill a gay caveman with a sword

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According to the most reliable source on the web, wikipedia, skeletor's powers include: Shooting lightning from his fingertips and eyes, Teleportaion, Telepathy, Dimensional Gateway opening, Remote Viewing, Supreme Swordsmanship, Hadoken, and Kamehameha. Skeletor basically has every power one could ask for. The only way he could lose is... well... as it is for most TV show villains.... the producers need to have someway to keep making money and the only way to do that is have the villain lose every time.

Watch this epic display of skill. There is no way He-Man should have a chance.

Then there's his appearance. Imagine if you took the body of David Hasselhoff, and put the head of Jack Skellington on it colored him like a smurf and then dressed him like Richard Simmons in his Neanderthal video. All of those combined somehow make a terrorizing mofo. Don't ask us it just works. However, looking like a badass does not make you a badass as we learned from Shia Lebeouf time and time again. Not only does Skeletor meet the expectations of a badass he exceeds them.

Here a checklist to being badass:

  1. Uber-Muscles check
  2. Mortal-Enemy check
  3. God-Fearing Power check
  4. Physical Deformity check

Skeletor not only has the bare essential badass qualities, but adds some extra bonuses that further cement his ascension into most badass villain. They're like adding gasoline to a large bonfire. Sure the bonfire is cool at all but to really make it epic you add some fuckin boy scout fluid. Skeletors "Boy Scout Fluid" consists of:

  1. Having an awesome pet
  2. Not just wanting to kill your enemy but ruin his family
  3. And oh yeah BLOWING SHIT UP WITH YOUR MIND

With all of this put together it's impossible to even come up with a valid argument as to why Skeletor is not the most badass Villain ever.

I'm shooting lightning from a staff. Your argument is invalid.

The decline of the cartoon villain.

Ever since the beginning of animated films villains have been seen as crazy don't-ever-fuck-with me characters. Or at least until 1987 when animation studios decided that "Hey maybe we should stop going with the masked-badass villain that everyone knows and respects and start the fail-tastic villain that can't ever do anything right era! it's a great way to revolutionize the industry and get more viewers!" This decision started what is now known of as "The Cartoonacaust" It not only led to the decline of villains but also of cartoons. I mean now the main character only fights pussy villains and like the BCS system in College Football you can't be the best if you don't play the best Now-a-days villains are just pre-pubescent teens with shitty gadgets

Totally a shit-your-pants villain

Either that or they get blown into space with the a tiny bit of electricity from a rat only to appear in the next episode. Besides. What villain needs a theme-song to introduce themselves? Imagine if Skeletor had one

"To annihilate He-man with epic force
To capture Castle Gray-Skull! that is my course
Sent from another dimension to be feared by all!
And rule the universe! That is my Call!
Skeletor!
I'm Skeletor!
You'll try to put up a reasonable fight!
But eventually i'll crush you with my powerful might!"


"Panthor that's right!"

He-man would've lost viewers faster than Godaddy.com got site traffic after their first commercial! It would've been disastrous. Villains now-a-day are as scary as Clay Aiken and just as gay. I mean here's a timeline showing the history of cartoon villains.

As if this weren't punishment enough for the masked badass villains soon their reputation as badass was lost and their new reputation as hipster fashion item was born. All was lost as soon as this happened, as the world can no longer see a badass villain without them being on a t-shirt or in a Hot-Topic display window. Hopefully animation studios come to their sense and realize what they've done. But until then, we can only weep.