Who Seinfeld's main character should have been.

A later series of Seinfeld, comically documented Jerry's short lived venture as a dominatrix

Just The Facts

  1. Lives across the hall from Jerry Seinfeld
  2. Co-invented the manssiere/bro
  3. His first name's Cosmo, isn't that kooky!!?

The Essence of Kramer

Cosmo Kramer, played by Michael Richards, is Jerry Seinfeld's neighbor in the hit show, Seinfeld. He was a clumsy, cigar smoking, goofball who somehow generated enough sex appeal to attract a woman almost every episode and even turn a nun from her religion.

Whether he's goofing off or creating some sort of crazy, wacky scheme. Kramer never fails to impress.

His Profession

You might wonder how a man of such caliber could afford to take enough time off from being amazing to hold down a steady job. The fact is, he doesn't. It is revealed at one point during the series that he has been part of an H&H Bagel strike which had been going on for a few years, however he does make certain quantities of money from various places. Such as:

  • Investments in underwire for men
  • Authoring
  • Various acting jobs
  • Kramerica Industries
  • Underwear model
  • Being Santa Clause
  • Tennis ball boy
  • Medical acting
  • PBS fund drive operator
  • Rickshaws
  • Refunding bottles and cans
  • Bette Midlers personal assistant
  • Selling Raincoats
  • Make your own pizza business
  • Selling used records
  • Opening his own smokers bar in his apartment

Kramer's life also so fucking wonderful that he sold the story of his life to Elaine's boss in one episode. He also falls head first into other random bits money here and there which is enough to feed him, clothe him (fabulously) and shelter him. Speaking of which...

The Apartment

Not much is known about this mystical, magical place. Very few shots are received from inside its walls. And the ones you do get, boggle the mind.

Japanese men? I'll I've got in my apartment are termites.

Japanese Men? All I've got in my apartment are termites.

That about sums him up. But there is much more to be learned about Kramer. Information that can only be learned in ways about as mysterious as he is. Lines must be crossed, dimensions passed to to be able to learn everything about this man and his ways.

"You know nothing!!!"