Is Pluto A Planet?

Q: Is Pluto a planet? A: Fuck you!

This Man Hates Pluto

Neil deGrasse Tyson Hates this Dog.

Just The Facts

  1. Pluto is a "Dwarf Planet".
  2. There are five Dwarf Planets.
  3. THERE ARE 14 FUCKING PLANETS! Isn't that AWESOME kids?!?!
  4. If Pluto is not a planet then I am not playing.

Pluto is not a Planet

According to Neil deGrassi High the Next Generation, Pluto was destroyed and it's parts recombined into a frankenstein dwarf planet. He probably did this with his Death Star.

Note: do not give astrophysicists Death Stars.

To understand what constitutes a planet now, you have to understand this. Alan Stern and Harold F. Levison introduced a parameter Λ (lambda), expressing the probability of an encounter resulting in a given deflection of orbit.[ The value of this parameter in Stern's model is proportional to the square of the mass and inversely proportional to the period. Following the authors, this value can be used to estimate the capacity of a body to clear the neighborhood of its orbit. A gap of five orders of magnitude in THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.

Think of it like this; you and your buddies all want to be planets, and you all live on a different blocks. You are the only kid on your block, so you get to be a planet. but your buddy Ralph... well poor Ralphy isn't the only kid on his block. There is this one FAT FUCK called Saturn who is always bossing Ralphy around and taking his baseball cards. Saturn is such a big fat fuck that when someone drives by the block the only kid they see playing on the street is Saturn and his giant belt that barely holds his massive pants up around his pasty white belly that looks like someone tried to make a giant golf ball out of cottage cheese and spackle.

Guees what, Saturn gets to be the Planet, and little Ralphy O'Crybaby is just a moon.

Pluto is a Planet

because these people totally said so