Patron Tequila

Like Cristal before it, Patron Tequila is the "in" drink of hip-hop because of its luxury status among tequilas, which is kind of like being the best whore.

Drink it or Dan Aykroyd will rape you. He actually might do that anyways.


Just The Facts

  1. Tequila is liqour made from the fermented juice of the blue agave cactus.
  2. Patron is a luxury brand of tequila sold in hand-blown, individually numbered bottles.
  3. Patron tequila has an 80 proof alcohol content. That's not as much as some tequila, but enough to fuck you up.

Patron In Hip-Hop

A search of an online hip-hop lyrics database, like, will give you 321 results to the date that this topic was written. Holy shit. Some of the most famous rappers to drop the Patron brand name include:


50 Cent -- Guess it tastes like being increasingly insignificant.


Chamillionaire -- Do you really want to drink tequila with a guy who likes to be "Ridin' Dirty?"

Lil Jon

And Lil Jon -- Wait, tequila is crunk juice? Pour me some of that shit now!!!

There's even an independent rap record label in Arizona called Patron Records. They better hope that fucking fat heffers and getting fucked out of your money continue to coincide.