Punctuation
Punctuation marks are the weird symbols located above the numbers on your keyboard. They are used in written language to indicate word and sentence structure.
Punctuation Throughout History
Early Europeans standardized punctuation to make it easier to read the Bible out loud to Native villages they were raping and pillaging. As humans slowly phase out the need for physical activity, punctuation is becoming overlooked by texters and bloggers who see the practice as an archaic exercise for the "mouth talkers."
The period is the most commonly used English punctuation mark. While its role as a sentence separator leaves it neck and neck with the comma, its use in obnoxious acronyms has historically been the real difference maker.
Annoying Trends in Punctuation
This lesson goes for other punctuation marks as well. While "You have cancer of the :" may be the most efficient way to deliver a diagnosis of colon cancer over Instant Messenger, one should strive for clarity when using punctuation. For instance, the recipient may believe that you were about to enumerate different types of less deadly cancers they have.
For this situation, we recommend the clearer and more emphatic, "You have cancer of the colon!"
People like a straight shooter.
WTF IS AN INITIALISM NOT AN ACRONYM OMFG, YOU DONT PROUNOUNCE IT WUHTUF!!!!!!!!!
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliescheck out this retard. You don't have to pronounce acronyms.
Blacksaw: But "acronym" means you pronounce it like a word.
But you both f**k goats.
Acronyms are pronounced phonetically and initialisms are read as individual letters. But I do say wuhtuf.
You guys are pansies there's worse stuff on the internet.
ReplyAnd you're a hipster~
Guess that really did explain everything...oh, god I have to puke.
Replynice dp
Whoever wrote this tried too hard, and it wasn't funny. Sorry.
Replymy god I wanted claw my own eyes out after clicking the link
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe link isn't clickable.
u dont want tyo see it lol if u want to see it just type in what the link said
You must be new here.
What is with all this bullshit spam?
ReplyOMG WTFS!!!?! I DA L33TS PWNER EN NO ALLS GRAMMAR!.!? ...
Reply Hide All See All 11 Replies1+'5 |\|0+ 5|>3113|) L33T !+'5 s|>3113|) 1337.
If you can't read that without a second glance, don't use the word.
1337 is for douchebags
|-||_||\||)3|)35|
wtf is with all the numbers?Idont come to cracked for math!
It's Not Spelled Leet. It's Spelled 1337. Took me a couple minutes, but I got it.
The prime example of all the englishes of the internet.^^^^^
What does it say?
What has 11337 5p34k become? Before, it was readable and clever! Like this sentence: 40w 4r3 y0u?
I don't know how to feel about the fact that I was able to understand Cigar's comment, lol... X3
I can, in fact, read it at one glance. I think I need to quit the internet.
I have absolutely no idea what any of you are saying but I'm okay with all of this.
Quit bitching about the Goatse link. Anyone who knew not to visit that link has been gotten by that same gag at one time. I know its discusting and that's the point, no one wants to have to see something like that. Except maybe Swaim. He's probably into that kind of stuff.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesironically - it was your comment that prompted me to try the link. curiousity killed this cat.
u made me to try the link too, and now i regret it. DX
I didn't think goatse still existed.
must....resist
good thing it was bumped off the screen
( . Y . )
Reply*&!#$*(!#$&%!@#$*!#$%&!@#*$,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I love punk-shoe-ate-ton. And my favorite: \ Yes, the backslash. The most awesomely named punctuation mark ever.
ReplyProper (i.e., expected) punctuation makes the written word easier on the reader's brian. Sloppy writing is sometimes faster that proper writing and editing, of course, so it can be a balance between the writer's effort and the reader's effort. To me, sloppy writing is an indication that the writer's time is more important than the number of readers times the average amount of time each reader spends stalled at bad punctuation or spelling. I guess it is not so bad if one writer writes to one reader - the convenience of the writer versus the convenience of the reader might be a wash. However, a writer too lazy to correct errors when posting something to 1000 readers is essentially stating that 6 seconds of the writer's life is worth 100 minutes of the readers'. To my first point about bad typing costing readers' time, how long did you stall on Brian's "brain" in the first sentence?
ReplyI posit that we only find proper punctuation, spelling, grammar, syntax, etc. easier to read because we've been brought up on that and a lot of what we read is, in fact, properly laid out. Some of the writers here stray from that occasionally, but over most of the blogs and sites that you actually go to read, everything is fairly well constructed. If we were to completely remove something like punctuation from how we write, I think its entirely possible that we could learn to read un-punctuated text easily.
however, I merely posit that we could read it easily, and I think that our current system is far better than none at all.
Also, do other languages have punctuation? to what extent? I'm not a linguist at all, but I can't imagine every written language evolving punctuation, some languages must have developed different methods of writing it down.
i think it's ironic that the explanation of the "traditional" use of the comma has a misplaced comma in it.
ReplyI thought I was the only one that noticed that.
Sigh, it was misplaced intentionally. Thus, no irony.
I'm so hot for this article. Short, but then again, it didn't have time to turn into crap! For realz, super enjoyable.
ReplyHAHAA Oh, god, i can't believe someone fell for that link
Replywhoever wrote this article is a goddamned bastard. How about some warning about what that link goes to? I figured it would be more interesting punctuations, not the nastiest goddamned picture known to the free world.
Reply Hide All See All 11 RepliesThat is gold. Pure, unadulterated gold.
Mexibeatle, welcome to the internet.
BWAHAHAHA!
I agree, a warning should of been made, or at least some sort of hint.
I totally agree with you. When that popped up i literally gasped and hit the exit button. The writer is a bitch!
LOL
I'd feel sorry for you. But if you didn't see that one coming, at Cracked nonetheless, then you may have deserved it. Remember, Cracked is the capital of Dick Jokes.
there is actually a website where you can report abuse like this. you go there and report the lemon link and they will have website administrators remove it. just go to this website to report it. lemonparty . or g
The writer just made you his bitch. I can't believe someone was dumb enough to follow that link. Look on the bright side, now you know never to trust anyone on the internet ever again.
chairmansteve, you are a genius.
Oh s**t, I'm dying over here. I can't believe how upset you are. You should never trust anyone on the internet, for the love of Abraham's top hat.
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
ReplyIt is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on
Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as http:// ^^^www.Sugardaddychat.c o m .^^^
Well, this just means that all the people below me are normal, like me. I have been trained relentlessly by my computer teachers to use the home line technique; utter bullshit and i never use it. Most uneducated people who speak English make use of punctuation to convey thoughts, but, hey, screw that, I'm edumicated! the
ReplyThe what...
THE WHAT?!
Same to be honest, I've used the internet for ten years but I'm so used to typing and writing in properly structured sentences that I usually find it much slower to type like a seven year-old. I will admit falling prey to the over use of !!!!!! now and again however and though every person who ever used the internet seems to live for bad sarcasm, I'm a very sarcastic person by nature.
ReplyYears of being forced to type properly made it so that I instinctively type correctly, and therefore type slower when not. However, with time I could potentially master the art of being barely legible.
ReplyBut....I...use, comma's and ellipses instead of full stops....lol
Reply