Bean Bag Chairs

A popular sitting device amongst people without vertebrae, bean bags are an American institution. The most you can say about a bean bag is that you can physically sit on it, making it a far superior sitting device to fire, sunlight or sadness.

This man so loved bean bag chairs that he decided to become one.

Bean bags are consciously made to mimic the velvety scrotums of giants.

Just The Facts

  1. Starving people in Africa think it's adorable when told that Americans have so much food that we take naps on bags of beans.
  2. All people who own bean bags smoke copious amounts of weed, as a result most of their belongings have been adapted into bongs. Therefore it is rare to find a bean bag that you cannot in some way use to smoke weed.
  3. The bean bag reached the height of its popularity in 1944 when F.D.R. complained that his wheelchair was so uncomfortable that he would "rather sit on a bag of beans." The craze quickly spread.

Benefits of Bean Bag Chairs

Before beanbags only the freakishly strong knew the pleasures of sitting on a piece of furniture, completely secure in the fact that they could easily lift said furniture above their head. Bean bags are portable, making them a staple in pedophile vans across the globe!

Because they are low to the ground, bean bags give you a perfect eye-to-genital line of sight with anyone who is standing in the room.

Inventing the Bean Bag Chair

To be honest the first man to ever put beans in a bag pretty much covered the whole thing right there, but noone would have the foresight to sit on one for centuries.

The bean bag chair was properly invented by hippies, who were the first group to be high enough to think that a giant hacky sack would make a great piece of furniture.

After unsuccesfully patenting the invention, the hippies consoled themselves by taking the next fifty years off.