Rave: A dancing party gravitating around drug cocktails, EDM, and confused, whiney adolescents clawing/humping each other for attention. Raves are not high schools in Detroit.

not pictured: AIDS. lots and lots and (stressed) LOTS of AIDS. have fun kids.

Just The Facts

  1. Depending on the venue your at, raves can be an expensive and tedious affair. Be prepared for heavy security, little to no sexual repression, and many many gangly dudes with exzema trying to sell you garlic pills
  2. Dont kid yourselves... umm, kids. The rave scene is a corporation perpetuated, mainstream, decidedly hipster industry. Being that "Girl" that goes to raves in high school will not give you the social edge you've been looking for.
  3. for every one pretty lady dancing around in sweaty, glistening, perfection, there are (and I can quote TIME on this) 3 orbit generating hoglettes and 5 draino addled anorexics (TIME being the self appointed acronym for Tony.Inhales.Mdma.Excessively)

Das Roots

so this whole 'dance party with blinding, flourescant lights, and music designed by robots programmed to do nothing but create montage sequences for Chuck Norris' straight to DVD movies' thing started in the early 80's. Although the term rave was coined in the 50's to describe Bohemian parties in limey town. Sorry, london (sometimes my ancestral prejudice gets the better of me). In the 80's it was popularized as a term to describe acid house parties. Also, large black birds if you happened to be an exterminator in Miami that survived on a diet of cocaine and mentos back then. Predictably, there was some political outlash which, because nothing is cool until the media has a fit over it, made raves, like, the cats pajamas over there, oh and also illegal. Which was like being the cats lingerie I assume.


MEEEEEEEOOWWWWW!!!! (sorry, is my shovanist showing again?)

when the roaring 90's crashed down on our planet's rich and fulfilled timeline like the ungrateful first-born trust-fund baby that it was, the rave scene spent one sensual, drunken night with lady America and forever left her genitals pockmarked (and he never called back for that lunch date).

Dancing with America (there are no stars here)

Raves in America have become an increasingly popular passtime in correlation to appealing to an increasingly young demographic. Ok, well that's not entirely true, as there is and always will be the variable of the creepy old guy.


awwww. gotta love the way demographic cliches make you feel

Since the rave scenes globalization, it has expanded by classifying the series of tones associated with it, called techno (I've been told) into many diverse (we're kidding here, right?) genres, Including, but not limited to: drum and bass, deep house, trance, and happy hardcore. It has also etched itself into the tramp stamp area of our culture with consistant media coverage and bullshit documentaries, the artform (still kidding) of spinning poi. Oh, and I guess the Matrix movies helped too.


WOOOOOOOO! We're the last bastion of humanity not enslaved to a robot's virtually constructed world