To be (gay) or not to be. A Cracked writer will explore the very depths of his imagination to answer this seriously bizarre and utterly useless question.
Empale (A.K.A the Ass Rape Skill) - spikes will shoot out from the ground upward, ass raping who ever comes in his way. Those suckers will be so fucked up they can't even do shit for 2.something seconds.
Voodoo - Enemies will turn to animals which you can ass rape, Drain or Finger. Great for animal fetish.
Drain - Lion will SUCK all you energy. It is gonna be so ugly, it will remind you of a blow-job you will not enjoy.
Finger of Death - Lion will Finger you to Death and he will take you to places you've never gone before. the Finger of Death is the ultimate molesting weapon you cannot help but be gay.
more to come