Tips To Surviving A Hurricane

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Mother Natures butthole.

Just The Facts

  1. More people die from spiders than hurricanes.
  2. Hurricanes have been known to eat people whole.
  3. You can out run most hurricanes.
  4. The name "hurricane" comes from Hawaii.

Survivng hurricanes

The best way to survive a hurricane is to pretend that you are a hurricane. Spin in circles blowing frantically. You will soon pass out or hyperventilate. Either way, you are now ready to face your opponent.

After defeating the hurricane, reward yourself by giving the hurricane a different name then what the news gave it. Like hurricane Wraith. It will sound better when you retell your story.

If acting like a hurricane is something that strikes you as childish, bend over and grab your ankles. Your new friend, Hurricane Jose, will take you from behind and make you his bitch.