Tofu

Tofu is a thick, cheese like substance made out of soybeans. It is Vegan fuel and tastes like what a vegetable's ass would taste like, if vegetables had asses.

A white block of disappointment.

Just The Facts

  1. Tofu is an ancient food made by pressing blocks of coagulated soy bean milk.
  2. Tofu means "Bean curd".
  3. Tofu is originally from China, and is appropriately disgusting, but is surprisingly lacking in tiger penis and other endangered animal parts.

Cracked on Tofu

Tofu is often used as a meat substitute, in much the same way styrofoam is a meat substitute. The big difference is that tofu has protein and is a poor packing material. Tofu is popular in Asian countries and California as a staple. It is remarkably like cheese, if cheese were made from plants and had no discernable flavor or merits.

Sometimes tofu doesn't look too bad; typically until you realize its tofu. That up there looked a lot like a Klondike bar minus the chocolate, didn't it? But then you find out it is the congealed sweat of a bean, the appeal suddenly gets on a bus and flips you the bird.