Pizza

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Just The Facts

  1. Pizza is the world's most versatile foods.
  2. There is a pizza for everyone, from carnivores to puss, er... Vegans.
  3. Quantifiable perfection was achieved with the invention of the bacon cheeseburger pizza.

Cracked on Pizza

Pizza was invented in Italy and exported to America to show that awesome shit from Italy isn't limited to Ferraris and violent criminals (Sicily is part of Italy before anyone bitches). The classic pizza is "Pizza Margherita", made for an Italian queen with basil, tomatoes and mozarella to match the colors of the Italian Flag.

It only gets better from there.

Specialty Pizzas

There are some enterprizing people out there who will put anythign on pizza. Some of it sucks, as anyone who has ever tasted tofu/kale pizza can tell you. But some are pure heaven, or at least sound like it. Here are some of more awesome and or strange ones.

Foie Gras Pizza

This one made headlines. The day before a city-wide ban on Foie Gras in Chicago, a restaurant offered Foie Gras pizza. Why? Because they were assholes. Funny assholes.

Truffle Pizza

If you add "Because you are filthy fucking rich" to the "What it means" for mushrooms up above, then this is your pizza. Truffles are rare and expensive, and taste faintly of tasty dirt.

The World's Most Expensive Pizza

We were imagining a pizza 4 feet across, covered with bacon, steak and cheese with a stripper on it. Imagine our disappointment when we saw this:

It's made with lobster tail, 4 ypes of caviar, creme fraiche, and chives. Its a thin crust. It costs one thousand fucking dollars. You read thatt right; its a pizza that costs a grand, and it doesn't give head. Fuck this pizza.

Giant Pizza

We don't know who makes this, but if they make one with pepperoni, we are ordering 2 and locking ourselves in our room with a case of beer. See you on the other side, Ray.

Pizzeria Uno's Pizza

Two words: Chicago Deep Dish. Okay, so that was 3, but who the fuck is counting? Uno's pizza is fucking awesome; the crust is almost fried. Almost Fried.

Pizza Personality Guide