Pizza
Pizza was invented in Italy, perfected in Chicago, and douched up in California.
Just The Facts
- Pizza is the world's most versatile foods.
- There is a pizza for everyone, from carnivores to puss, er... Vegans.
- Quantifiable perfection was achieved with the invention of the bacon cheeseburger pizza.
Cracked on Pizza
Pizza was invented in Italy and exported to America to show that awesome shit from Italy isn't limited to Ferraris and violent criminals (Sicily is part of Italy before anyone bitches). The classic pizza is "Pizza Margherita", made for an Italian queen with basil, tomatoes and mozarella to match the colors of the Italian Flag.
It only gets better from there.
Specialty Pizzas
There are some enterprizing people out there who will put anythign on pizza. Some of it sucks, as anyone who has ever tasted tofu/kale pizza can tell you. But some are pure heaven, or at least sound like it. Here are some of more awesome and or strange ones.
Foie Gras Pizza
This one made headlines. The day before a city-wide ban on Foie Gras in Chicago, a restaurant offered Foie Gras pizza. Why? Because they were assholes. Funny assholes.

Truffle Pizza
If you add "Because you are filthy fucking rich" to the "What it means" for mushrooms up above, then this is your pizza. Truffles are rare and expensive, and taste faintly of tasty dirt.

The World's Most Expensive Pizza
We were imagining a pizza 4 feet across, covered with bacon, steak and cheese with a stripper on it. Imagine our disappointment when we saw this:

It's made with lobster tail, 4 ypes of caviar, creme fraiche, and chives. Its a thin crust. It costs one thousand fucking dollars. You read thatt right; its a pizza that costs a grand, and it doesn't give head. Fuck this pizza.
Giant Pizza
We don't know who makes this, but if they make one with pepperoni, we are ordering 2 and locking ourselves in our room with a case of beer. See you on the other side, Ray.

Pizzeria Uno's Pizza
Two words: Chicago Deep Dish. Okay, so that was 3, but who the fuck is counting? Uno's pizza is fucking awesome; the crust is almost fried. Almost Fried.

Pizza Personality Guide






perfected in Chicago?! everyone knows pizza is the best in and around New York
ReplyNow I'm hungry.
ReplyGods gift to man is St.Louis style. You'll either love it or hate it.
ReplyWhat's California Style?
mushrooms,onions,veggies,goat cheese and everything else you hated as a kid
I have had pizza from various different pizzerias, but the two I liked best were North Beach Pizza in San Francisco where the toppings are immersed within the cheese and Round Table Pizza's Big Vinnie, a seasonal treat of 16 inches, pepperoni, and whole milk mozzarella. I got it and would eat eight slices while sitting inside the pizzeria watching the girls talk. Reading that chart made me hungry.
ReplyMan, that was great. Also, Swaim is a hyper-fag.
Replyhahaha that chart was a f*****g win!!!
Reply