Greece is a small country in Europe that invented everything. Even your computer. Why? Because it's Greece.
Before we start we must get one thing straight:
It's confusing. We know.
Modern Greece owes much to its more pro-orgy ancestor Ancient Greece (whose origin dates as far back as 776 BC: the date of the first recorded Olympic Games). The culture of Ancient Greece inspired the Renaissance and is even one of the cultures that influenced the Islamic Golden Age. It gave the world democracy, philosophy, the Olympic games, mathematics, ar...what? What are you talking about? Pedophilia? Never happened.
But Greece hasn't changed much over the last two-thousand years. A few wars here, sure, but otherwise it's basically the same.
This topic will be new and shiny in a few days
Greeks are similar to Canadians, Italians and dwarves.
The Average Greek Man
Like dwarves, the average height of a yia-yia is around 3 to 4 feet. However, what they lack in height they make up for in power. Do not be fooled by their baby-like faces and headscarves, they wear the pants in the family and they will make you sure you know this. Even the burliest of Greek men cower in fear of them.
And in this video where two yia-yias fight for power. The much more agile one wins. It's simply survival of the fittest in the dangerous world of matriarchal
A yia-yia in a rare moment of not beating the shit out of people
The Greeks decided that having one of the oldest cultures in the world wasn't enough and wanted to have last names that would confuse the shit out of anyone.
Papa...papa...than...pa...sir are you sure you just didn't make this up off the top of your head?
Clearly this is a test to see if you are worthy of having a Greek name.
ARE YOU WORTHY?!
If you tell me that you pronounced them all correctly then you are a liar. A horrible horrible liar. The Greeks made these names intentionally unpronounceable for non-Greeks. Leave and hide your face in shame.
A Greek homosexual
A particularly well-known fact is that aside from those of the same sex the ancient Greeks were willing to screw anything. Even their gods got in on the action. A not-so-well-known fact is that relationships between homosexual men were based around social statuses and roles such as having a dominant partner who was engaged in more masculine concepts and a submissive partner who was engaged in more feminine concepts. So basically it was like heterosexual relationships but with penises. Lots and lots of penises.
Two penises too many
Incidentally, two people of masculine concepts could not be compatible with each other as Greek men, with all respect, did not like it when someone else was manlier than they were. To fix this problem, numerous homosexual relationships were based around age too, with the masculine partner being older and the feminine partner being younger. How young?
Unlike relationships between men, not much is known about female homosexual relationships (oh why couldn't have it been the other way around?!) only that the term Lesbian was "inspired", more or less, from the poet Sappho's homeland: Lesbos. In her poems Sappho proclaimed her love for other women and girls. Lesbian used to be interchangeable with Sapphist up until the 1900s where Lesbian became more prominent in medical text and in 1925 became the female equivalent of sodomite in many dictionaries. This was clearly intended to do less with homosexuality being taboo and more with how the world just likes screwing with the people of Lesbos.
Americans: This one only complies with native Greeks. Greek-Americans are busy partying in Astoria (OPA!!!). U.S. foreign policy in the Balkans during the Cold War ticked off the terrorist group Revolutionary Organization 17 November who decided to assassinate CIA Athens's station chief Richard Welch in 1975 possibly with the use of poisoned spanakopita. There was also a rather vicious spread of anti-American attitudes to the point where it became a good idea for American tourists to say they're Canadian. Recent U.S. actions in the Balkans and Iraq have made the Greeks act even more European.
Though honestly - who wouldn't?
IT HAPPENED ALL RIGHT?!?!?!?!?! LET US SPEAK NO MORE OF IT!!!
LALALA!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU - LALALA!!!