Social Networking Sites
Social networking sites self-destruct more regularly than depressed Bond villain lairs full of Mission Impossible messages, leaking oil drums and a drunken fire juggler.
Twitter: More Popular Than A Drunken Cheerleader, Just As Likely to Be Screwed
Facebook: Possibly Peaked, Flirting With a Cash Grab
MySpace: The Cautionary Tale
Networking sites replace troublesome "meaningful relationships" with an easily-tracked number. Unlike friends, logging on doesn't require effort. Or showers. The instant it becomes possible to conceive over the internet the human race will start evolving backwards.
Making Money
The precise moment a social networking site turns to shit is when the makers realise "Wow, we've got an army of millions of obsessives - how do we make money from them?" MySpace turned their entire site into a commercial break, Facebook lets anyone who can hit a keyboard two tries out of three poison the place with crapplications, and Twitter are just hoping the problem will go away/one of the team will find a treasure map.
If only I could gain access to electro magnetic pulse weapons...
ReplyEMP weapons are easy to make, and quite worthless. Most new technologies specifically resist EMPs up to quite high levels. You'd need some sort of high powered EMP cannon to shut down a laptop.
go on chris
just let me grab a pen
I am SO glad I stick to sites like GameFAQs, YouTube, Cracked, and Fanfiction.net. Sure, I still end up facing a lot of crap there, but the fact that social networking is a secondary aspect of the site means that stuff doesn't degenerate to NEARLY the same degree that it would on pure social networks.
ReplyCompletely agree with you on that.
Twitter, Facebook and other Social Networking pieces of s**t are like the Twilight series of the Internet- Extremely popular, but completely useless.
At least Twilight is almost ending, Social Networking sites will exist the Next Nuclear Holocaust
The problem is that like anything on the internet - at some point none of those were popular. One person ran across it, told their friends, those friends told other friends and so on and so forth. At some point afterward, that original person complains about how popular it is, and finds some other site, only to have the same cycle repeat itself.
Advertising for the social network sites I see...
ReplyWell, if you think "Shitty sites you can waste your time in, instead of doing something productive" as advertising.
BTW, social networks are a piece of crap.
So it turns out I was right all along when I guessed that social networking sites and eveyone who uses them are totally lame and a complete waste of existence.
ReplyOr something like that.
You got it!
And here you are. Networking. Socially. Reading social commentary. While networking.
Hey, they stole my name!
ReplyI never use new social networking site. Iam well satisfied with the site iam using from past few years. So there is no chance for a spammer.
Replyhttp://www.hindlist.com
I facebook, I like the random twitter stuff from my fave celebs, but I hate myspace, that website is crap
ReplyI do find twitter flawed beyond belief, I know too many people who will
ReplyA. post pointless random stuff burying anything important.
or B. announcing their divorce or break-up before actually telling the person their dumping.
Was this article supposed to be funny? All I see is a tragically correct description of three websites.
ReplyWell, the bit about Twitter turning ADD into a website was really funny.
Oh lolly, is that part of the joke? I see some highly ironic ads right next to this article. "Ads by Google Social network software"... "Cant get enough of Cracked? Well now you can get it to go! (facebook) (twitter) (rss) (mobile)"
ReplyThat's because of the way Google works. It links sites to pages that have their names in some random place within there.
Snakes on a Plane was a good movie
Replythere's plenty of flowcharts though, but this was good
ReplyThis article was brought to you by The Goods, starring Jeremy Piven! Also, check out site to meet sexy tall black lady. You will make penis hard! www.Crackedisfullofspam.com
ReplyFinally a good cracked topic. It was looking pretty bad for a moment there.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesHey a lot of people put lots of effort into these topic pages. Most of them never make the front page. You might like this one but that doesn't mean you have to insult the rest of us, asshole.
Well said, Furlinator.
yeah dude... besides I don't know what you are talking about. There have been LOTS of good topics pages. Some seem a bit short, some are interesting but not very funny, and quite a few are just awesome, of the same caliber as the articles. And even the short/not-that-funny ones are usually pretty enjoyable to read.
No, most Topic pages are total s**t written by 12 year olds that don't understand comedy or writing.
You forgot about the MILLION "Do you like my site? YES or NO?" comments you get, as well as the BILLION album release e-mails you get on Myspace.
ReplyShoot me now.
this was highly entertaining and scarily accurate. good thing it doesn't apply to cracked or i might cry. where else can i read about the recession and superman porn ALL IN THE SAME PLACE? hell yeah.
ReplyDoesn't apply to Cracked? Have you SEEN all of the spam here?
Yeah, maybe so, but you don't have to see it if you stay away from the comments section.
Facebook isn't ruined yet. It took a major hit when it let literally ANYBODY start making a profile, and when they added usernames I thought it would be all downhill from there, but by and large they're still offering the exact same service they did in the beginning. You still have a lot of control over your own facebook experience, and spambots aren't a huge problem.
ReplyMyspace. Never used it, but even I heard about its decline when it tried imitating EVERY popular internet phenomenon in a desperate attempt to stay relevant.
Twitter: f**k that noise. I'll will literally laugh for joy when it crashes and burns and many of my friends have meltdowns.
Twitter officially reached the "popular with all the wrong people and now disrupting the lives of people who don't even use it" this week. First Blizzard announces they'll be twitting all about their new games, and then it show up in like six different shows that aired new episodes this week. Royal Pains managed to destroy my respect for the show by mentioning it clumsily in an attempt to show how "lovably out of touch with modern technology" the main character is, while Psych of course managed to work it into a brilliantly childish joke, proving once again that shows with immature characters are always superior.
ReplyWhat were we talking about again?
I'm gonna google your tube. Wanna twitter?
Wanna find your sexy partner easier and more effective on Facebook?! Check out: http://RichFriends.org/ --Where you can hook up sexy beauties and wealthy singles, even hot celebs! What are you waiting for?!
ReplyNot far from the truth.
Reply