Man Boobs

An affront to God. Boobs where no boobs should ever be. It has taken something spectacular and turned it repulsive.

My chest is exhausting!

Just The Facts

  1. In some cases having man boobs is acutally a real medical condition called Gynecomastia. It is a hormonal disorder caused by increased levels of estrogen when a boy goes through puberty.
  2. In other cases man boobs are caused by obesity, when extra fat gets stored in the breast region.
  3. In either case, it is simply frigthening.

Boobs

Men love boobs. Boobs are wonderful things. They come in all shapes and sizes from Blockbusters to Tit-lywinks and are generally the favourite part of a woman. Celebrities, college girls, and teenagers alike flaunt them to lure us men. For more information on this, please visit the "Boobs" topic page.

Ah. Much better.

Much Better

Man Boobs

Somewhere along the line, something went wrong. Horribly wrong.

Oh Dear God No

Oh Dear God No

We've all had the idea. "Wouldn't it be cool to have boobs of our own? Then we wouldn't have to go through all the work of being nice to girls (or just buying them booze)". Thing is, it would not be cool. Not at all.

NOT COOL

Not even cool on Jack

Hairy, flabby, and overall disgusting, man boobs are not appealing to anyone. Half the reason female boobs are so lusted after is because females have nice bodies to go along with them. Men don't. So slapping a pair of tits onto a guy is like slapping God in the face and saying "You made something beautiful, and look how we have destroyed it!".

Solutions

For years men have been searching for a way to remedy this situation. Being lazy creatures, we do not wish to stay in shape in order to avoid these monstrosities. Further still, it would appear that it is often impossible to avoid with the onset of old age. Sites such as this gives tips on how to rid yourself of this terrible plight. The problem is, most of these tips include rigorous exercise, proper diet, and overall, things no one really wants to do. But do not fret! There are other alternatives.

Many years back, a pair of some of the smartest minds to grace the world teamed up to tackled the problem of man boobs. These men (who we shall refer to as Dr. Kramer and Dr. Costanza) realized that removal seemed painful and impractical. Instead, support and secrecy were the way of the future. Building upon the female garment the "bra", and miracle invention was created.

The Bro or Manzier

Known as the "Bro" or the "Manzier", this garment is worn by men who need to hide that unsightly growth on their chest. It is quite simple to use. You simply place your arms through the shoulder straps, and close the clasp around your back (as shown here)

If needed you can get a close friend to help with this step.

Unfortunately, this still doesn't allow one to go topless in public without showing off those Moobs, but it is a small price to pay to save the world from being turned off of breasts.

Note: The editor of this topic must say he was nearly scared for life while searching for images and information on this subject. And so, for my sake, and for anyone who has finished reading this article, I give you: Sweet relief.