A naked video of ESPN anchor Erin Andrews made the news this summer for the creepy "shot through a hole in the wall" back story, and for simultaneously confirming everything 15-year-old boys have always suspected hot women do behind closed doors:
For those that do not know, there is a video circulating the internet that features Erin Andrews in her hotel room getting ready for the day. What makes the video shocking is that she is performing this activity--please ask your children to leave the room--in the nude. The video was made without Ms. Andrews's consent using a hidden camera of some sort and was uploaded to the internet.
Bill O'Reilly, for one, was so offended by the video that he ran it on his show. Of course it's all justified, because thirty-five seconds in O'Reilly uses the legally non-applicable, but totally official sounding term "criminal intent." He goes on to say the video "is really ultra-disturbing"...... right after he finishes showing a clip of it.
We find it odd the O'Reilly hates it so much as it seems to be right up his alley. Ms. Andrews spends most of her time on camera twirling in front of the mirror, looking at herself in different poses, and generally looking adorable despite not being aware that she was being filmed. Most of us, when alone in a room, are doing things that not only wouldn't be considered adorable, but that are down right dreadful. Perhaps proven most true when we found the Cracked peephole video that was filled with masturbation using illegal props such as automatic rifles and severed human hands. Yet somehow Erin Andrews was the victim of this invasion of privacy and she came out of it even cuter and more marketable than before. The additional marketability being helped along quite a bit by all the free, and unwanted, advertising the video received thanks to the national media.
The media chose to handle this story with a balance of outrage and inappropriate images.
As soon as the media discovered this video they began denouncing it as "disgusting" while showing clips and screenshots from the video just to give viewers a preview of how "disgusting" it was. Yet the more they talked about how outraged they were the more publicity they gave it; thus enticing viewers, that may not have otherwise known about it, to go look for it themselves. It's like a guy standing outside a strip club, seeing a group of minors walking by, and yelling: "Warning! There are hot, naked women in here and the lock on the side door is broken so anyone can just sneak in. It is horrible that the side door is accessible thus giving anyone access to seeing hot, naked, ass, but that is the situation. Do not go in there!"
"If you go in there you will see what is in this image but without it being blurred out. Don't do it."
"But wait this is Cracked right... aren't you the guys that have entire articles devoted to boobs and other lady-parts?" Fair point. Here at Cracked we do love us some female nudity. In fact, any spelling errors you find on this page are a direct result of us beng tooooo preoccupyed with wtchng porn too doo a prper spl chek. But we do have a rule that for us to enjoy some female nudity that is made public, it must to be at least 50 percent consensual. Which is why we will never live stream our Ashley Tisdale toilet cam... because we are borderline saints.
We do, however, want to take this opportunity to deliver a message to the rest of the female celebrities out there that we have not seen nude yet. Something near and dear to our hearts. Warning: The following section might be the most honest thing ever written on Cracked.com.
Here is the deal. At some point it is going to happen. Camera technology is too good, and the money for nude pics is too much for anyone to be above doing something like this. Old boyfriends, relatives, life-long friends, someone is going to exploit the fact that you are attractive, and people want to see your parts.
This Erin Andrews example should be a wake up call to the fact that it is inevitable. Someone engineered some sort of elaborate peephole / hidden camera to get video of a celeb that most people have barely heard of. So Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, etc.....what chance do you think you have of making it ten more years without something like this happening to you? Cracked's advice1 to you is that you might as well get it over with, do it on your own terms2, and make a shitload of money for yourself instead of it leaking for free across message boards everywhere.
1. Not surprisingly, 100% of Cracked's advice is some variation of "more nudity."
2.Just casually throwing this out there --- The Cracked office boasts a semi-professional photo studio with at least 3 beanbag chairs. All Cracked staffers have cell phones with at least 1.3mp cameras; beer will be provided, and you can keep 100% of the income generated just for the honor of allowing us to be a part of your experience.
Come on Megan. Where are you going to get a better offer?