Zeitgeist: The Movie

Zeitgeist: The Movie is a 2007 internet "documentary" which claims to tell the truth about Christianity, 9/11, and the Federal Reserve. 99% of the people who watch this film are not smart enough to realize those topics are unrelated.

Like this.  Except no Julia Roberts.  Or Patrick Stewart, for that matter.

Just The Facts

  1. Zeitgeist was one of the most viewed videos on Google.
  2. A vast number of people who watch this film feel as though they have had their eyes opened to the awful truth of the world.
  3. An early version of the film tried to liked Christianity to Sun-worshipping religions because Jesus is believed to be God's Son, and that word is [in English, exclusively] a homophone for "sun."
  4. A vast number of people who watch this film are idiots.
  5. Zeitgeist de-contextualizes a monologue from Network. That is a great movie. Zeitgeist is not.

Handling the truth

Zeitgeist: The Movie is a film that, first and foremost, advocates free-thinking and an inquisitive nature. If there is a general thesis to this movie (and honestly, there may not be), it is that people are too trusting, placing a large amount of faith in the establishment. Anyone with a desire to explore the mysteries of the world and learn the truth about global events should listen to multiple sources and seek out well-documented, skillfully researched articles which represent the unheard voices of legitimate scholars who can expose the lies which run rampant through society.

On an unrelated note, Zeitgeist is directed, produced, written by, edited by, and scored by Peter Joseph (sorry, no meaningless letters like Ph.D or anything after his name). For those at home without a calculator, that is one (1) man.

It's a damn good thing for the world that we know we can trust him. A damn good thing, indeed.

A crusader for truth and justice in a maelstrom of lies and deceit, Peter Joseph's contributions to our cultural knowledge have allowed him to join the esteemed ranks of Charlie Sheen, Rosie O'Donnell, and Fox Mulder. But his quest has not been without its obstacles. Zeitgeist has only been translated into a mere 21 languages (the Illuminati/NWO/Freemasons/Weinstein Brothers cannot allow more nations to know the truth), and just as there are those who have not read such critical texts as The Da Vinci Code, it is possible to encounter a few poor souls who have not been exposed to this internet phenomenon.

Some bastards will do anything to suppress the truth.

Part I: Religion and the Tyranny of Vague Similarities!

Peter Joseph is a fearless man, and fearless men know that the best way to get someone's attention is to shock them (nude scenes are also helpful). Knowing this, Joseph grabs the viewer's attention from the beginning with the disturbing and horrible fact that he does not subscribe to the beliefs of Christianity.

Actual yearbook photo of Peter Joseph.

However, Joseph thinks his viewers should reject this religion, as well. He may be attempting to refute the traditions and culture of a large group of people, but it's totally not bigotry if he's right about it (he isn't).

To prove he is right, Peter Joseph advances thoroughly debunked conspiracy theories in the hopes that his viewers will believe anything if it is said in an ominous tone of voice and accompanied by cliche movie thriller music. Research is lame, anyway.

Zeitgeist first asserts that every early civilization ever worhsipped the sun and considered it to be both the creator and savior of mankind. Tried and true conspiracy theorists will know that images of pagan sun worship have survived even in today's cultural iconography.

Now, the notion that the sun was universally worshipped in this way back in the day is not exactly, well, right, but as viewers will soon discover, Zeitgeist is not concerned with the facts. It's concerned with the truth. There's a difference.

So...whoa...wait one second here. Isn't Jesus, like, God's son? Doesn't that sound an awful lot like "sun"? No...

NOOOO!!!!! HEAVENS NOOOO!!!!! IT'S ALL A LIE!!!!!!! WE'VE ALL BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!

Oh, right...not everyone spoke English back then. Moving on...

The film also tries to compare Jesus to the Egyptian deity Horus. God of the Sun acording to the film, and God of the Sky according to the scholars. But nevermind their meddling. Joseph goes about his comparison by taking the story of Jesus' life (born on December 25, had 12 followers, was crucified, etc.) and inserting the word "Horus" in place of "Jesus". This story proceeds to blow the minds of viewers. Professors have a different reaction...

Zeitgeist sures tells an interesting story there. Stephen King tells interesting stories too, but research suggests that there may not be an evil clown living in the sewers of Derry, Maine. Research further suggests that there may not even be a Derry, Maine.

As far as Zeitgeist goes, research suggests that Peter Joseph never read a book on world religions. Horus wasn't crucified, a conclusion drawn by hard-working scholars when they considered the fact that Horus never officially died. He was also born in July or August, depending on which calendar you use. And his mommy wasn't a virgin. And there are no valid, primary sources to indicate that he had twelve followers, or was like Jesus in any way, shape or form.

Of course, that doesn't stop Peter Joseph from continuing to make vague, inaccurate comparisons between Christianity and other world religions. After sifting through the inaccuracies in this section of Zeitgeist, one can still arrive at an honest, shocking truth about the nature of Christianity: Christianity involves the worship of a God. Other religions, also, involve the worship of gods. Cue minor key techno music.

9/11 was an inside job!

After making the controversial assertion that it is possible to find parallels between major religions if one looks hard enough, Zeitgeist takes the next logical step in the progression of ideas and tackles...9/11?

Like this. Except no facts.

This seems like a reasonable transition to make. If it hadn't been for Christianity co-opting other relgions (and, remember, the scholars say it didn't), then we'd all know the truth about 9/11. The topics are like conjoined twins, they're so connected.

In this section of the film, Peter Joseph contends that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job perpetrated by the American government. The theory is that shadowy forces within the government would stage an elaborate disaster, killing thousands, then turn around and blame it on terrorists from Afghanistan, all in order to gain support for a war in...Iraq. Hmm...

Not pictured: Afghanistan

To pull off a conspiracy of this magnitude on your own soil and get away undiscovered would take genius-caliber planning. The war in Iraq consists of less than genius-caliber planning. This disparity escapes a lot of people.

Unfortunately for Peter Joseph, there are a lot of statements out there which refute his theory. Fortunately for Peter Joseph, the magic of basic editing can make any statement support any theory.

Like the flight instructors claiming that Hani Hanjour was a poor pilot. Now, what they really complained about was his inability to properly communicate in English, but as we pointed out earlier, the concept of foreign languages is one which escapes Peter Joseph. He also failed to include the statements experts who mentioned that it wouldn't be difficult for someone with a little bit of practice to fly a large plane into a large building. Cuz those statements must be lies.

Then there is the guy saying that the building was constructed to withstand being hit by a 707. Interesting. Now what about a 767-200, the kind of plane that actually hit the building? One that was flown in the building on purpose, while full of fuel? Peter Joseph "forgot" to put the statements about those details in.

Luckily, viewers bought it, but Zeitgeist hadn't convinced everyone yet. So, when clever editing failed, Peter Joseph resorted to another strtegy to do the trick: lying.

The film claims that there is no mention of Building 7 of the WTC made anywhere in the 9/11 Commission Report.

In other, unrelated news, Peter Joseph is either a pathological liar or illiterate.

Way too many pages to actually read...

And thus, it was all made clear for the viewers. The people who recovered human remains from Shanksville? Conspirators. The families who claim to have spoken with their loved ones on Flight 93? Conspirators. The people who saw a plane crash into the Pentagon? Conspirators.

Peter Joseph? Hero.

The banks who owned everything!

The final section of this film deals with evil that is Central Banks. Apparently, a central bank that prints all the money for a nation is unfair, because they attach whatever percentage of interest they wish to onto their currency, but we can only pay off the debt created by this interest with money fom, you guessed it: the central bank.

Peter Joseph would prefer a world with free banking systems. Ya know, the kind we had in the 19th century where banks loaned you money, then went under, and the cash they gave you became worth less than Monopoly money.

Joseph backs-up his case with serious quotations from serious people. Quoations that were seriously taken out of context, and, on occassion, cobbled together from various sources over said serious person's lifetime. Oftentimes, the only available sources for these quotes are conspiracy websites. But what's more reliable: books, or www.lizardpeopleruletheearth.net?

He also makes a big deal about the Federal Reserve being a private organization, which is slightly true. He claims that it is unregulated by the government, which is more than slightly untrue. Congress often checks up on the Reserve to see what's going on with everyone's money.

The general thesis of this section is that somewhere, some greedy genius sits on his throne, controlling all the wealth of the nation. We're guessing it's Dr. Claw.

The idea in the subtext is that the money generated for the Federal Reserve via interest charges goes directly to the men behind the scenes; presumably, the American public is footing the bill for their massive cocaine addiction and spiffy "rich jerk" threads.

The sad, less scary truth, is that the money actually pays for legitimate government programs, none of which involve cocaine, although we're sure Peter Joseph is working on that documentary as we speak ( tentatively titled The White Powder Behind the White House).

Peter Joseph, still blowing our minds, lets us all know how profitable war was (primarily by citing quotations from conspiracy sites and throwing out random numbers that are completely incongruous with historical records). Apparently, the real reason we got involved in conflicts like WWII was to make some cash for the Monopoly Men. And you silly folks thought it was the Nazis.

In fact, just about every war the United States was involved in during the 20th Century was provoked by some elaborate, 9/11-esque conspiracy. Pearl Harbor, sinking of the Lusitiania...all planned by the US Government. Or so Zeitgeist would have you believe.

History, on the other hand, says otherwise. So, maybe after watching this film, it would be helpful to go read a book, possibly by someone with more qualifications than "being really good with Windows Movie Maker."

Always cite your sources!