Insanity
Insanity is technically the state of being mentally ill, it is also known as being batshit, clownshit, or in the case of temporary insanity, going apeshit.
Just The Facts
- Many famous people are/were insane: Some English King, Emperor Nero, Robin Williams...
- Some people say being sane is insanity. Some people are stupid.
- Being crazy gives you license to treat others like crap, because it's part of your illness.
Cracked on Insanity
Insanity comes in many forms; some are hilarious, others are sad, still more are scary. Below are some of the more notable types.
An asylum.
Schizophrenia
This is what most of us think of when we hear "crazy". Schizophrenics have a "distorted view of reality". In other words, these are the people who could see you as the last unicorn and dedicate their lives to protecting you, or could carve your eyes out because they are bug-headed demons telling them to eat shit.
Notable Nuts:
John Nash
John Nash. Schizophrenic who inspired A Beautiful Mind. Looks JUST like Russel Crowe, doesn't he?
Phil Spector
Paranoia
The 80s brought us a wonderful RPG based on a horrible mental condition
An irrational fear that someone or something is out to get you. Paranoia can often result in you yelling at people for walking behind you (WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!?!) and questioning people about their involvement in conspiracies that probably only exist in your head. Probably.
Notable Nuts:
Mel Gibson
Oliver Stone
Andrew McCarthy (He was the Red Crisis guy, right)
Obsessive
It is not okay to like Buffy this much.
Obsessive people focus on one thing and can't let it go. Stalkers are obsessive. The average Cracked writer's fixation on large breasts is obsessive. Obsessions can be fun, as long as you indugle them in the privacy of your own home and they don't involve things like screwing animals or stuffing marshmallows into dead people's orifices.
Notable Nuts:
OCD
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is different from straight obsessive types. You don't really need to worry about OCD people doing much more than annoying you (or entertaining you like that card Monk. Good times...) You average OCD sufferer has rituals that MUST be gone through in order to continue in life. They won't kill you because they would then have to count all of the blood spatter, or they might get it on their immacualtely clean clothes. (1.2.3.4,1.2.3.4. "How many pieces do you wish?" Phew... That's better)
Notable Nuts:
Monk
Hobo-Crazy
Hobo crazy is a mixed bag of other insanities. In this case, the bag is filled with spiders and rotten banana peels and you are lilkely to pull your hand out with an infection that smells like pee and old pizza.
Notable Nuts:
Cat Lady Crazy
Cat lady crazy is an offshoot of Hobo Crazy that involves some OCD. It involves a lot of screaming and feelings of persecution, plus cats. Lots of cats. You know that grab bag of hobo-crazy? This one has angry felines and smells of unchanged litter boxes.
Notable Nuts:
The Cat Lady from the Simpsons
"What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?" Garland Green from Con Air. I think that pretty much sums up madness.
ReplyInsanity is fun, will someone help my carve my arm? I want to draw a tree but I'm not that good using my right hand
ReplyWell, at least this one did pull any "ADD is invented by big pharma" bull. After all, I think including Monk- a fictional character- should make it clear that the editor is purposefully being ignorant. I thought it was funny that he included caricatures from movies and popular stereotypes; after all, shouldn't we be more offended by those? Maybe he was going for the "Modest Proposal" vibe (wherein the piece aims to offend by illuminating a greater problem). Maybe his goal was for us to be offended. Maybe we were supposed to stop and consider that the examples in the articles weren't the editor's creation. These are stereotypes we see all the time in the media, in entertainment, in society. Maybe it wasn't clever and this is honestly what the editor believes.
ReplyI'm also fairly certain that even if someone did find this hilarious, that more than likely as long as mostly everyone else said it was offensive, that regardless what they thought, they're going to go along with the herd as not to seem like a social pariah, ask yourself this, do you "really" believe the things you're saying, or are you saying them because they're politically correct and you don't want people judging you?
ReplyI'm pretty sure that even without the years of psychiatric evaluations done on me that I am completely psychotic and I find this quite hilarious, please don't speak for the entire population as if your opinion and you yourself "are" the entire population, that is just as offensive rude and insensitive as you are calling this article.
ReplyI'm with DanielG this is sort of insensitive.
ReplyThis is extremely rude to people who have mental disorders. Its only marginally funny and just makes fun of people for things they can't control
ReplyYeah, I found this pretty offensive. I suffer from bipolar disorder, by the way so I think I have a right to say that. Really insensitive, whoever wrote this.
I suffer from some pretty serious mental conditions which I'm not going to go into further detail about..because I don't feel like it, and I think this is hilarious, please don't speak for the entire population as if you "are" the entire population and everyone shares your opinions, that's just as rude and offensive as what you're calling rude and offensive.
We didn't like the article.
ReplyHa! I get it!
The picture thumbnail will haunt my dreams until I die of a fright induced heart attack
ReplyMy brother bought me the crazy cat lady action figure for my last birthday.. I guess he meant it as a cruel jab at me because I prefer cats to people. I don't think that is crazy, because people suck, and annoy the s**t out of me, plus most of them are ugly and smell bad. Cats are sweet, cute, fun to pet, and good listeners. They never steal my last can of coke, or wear my clothes. They don't babble like a gobshite when I'm trying to watch tv, or use the internet, and best of all, they never pester me to cut their hair, help them move..etc. I am not crazy at all... But I still might cut my brother's spleen out, he han live without it. I saw that on CSI during the 15 seconds my a*****e friend stopped blabbering.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesYou're not crazy, you just suck at coexisting with other humans.
@Mr.Mediocre Which is called antisocial disorder. Congrats, you're and idiot!
@StonyDM He's not an idiot for saying something differently than you would while saying the same thing. Congrats your a narrow-minded asshole. Stupid trolls.
@U235 I'm not judging you but you need to find "human" friends to converse with. Maybe all the people you know are assholes. I'm not saying they're not. I know a good bit of assholes. However you just think cats are good listeners. They aren't, they don't give a shit. Humans you can relate to. You just have to find the right one & you never will unless you go out & try. Trust me, cats are cute but you don't want to be a crazy cat person. If your not already. Try finding someone who loves cats as much as you. It's not hard. Hell go to petco you'll find one in an instant. I mean damn I don't need to walk you through this, you can handle it. Just try not to kill your brother in the meantime.
lol sarcasm fail
The add is for a test to see if you're coping with you schiziophrenia. WTF universe
ReplyIf I worried about whether you would accuse me of having OCD when I point out that you spelled schizophrenia wrong, would that mean I'm paranoid?
That means you're a grammar nazi and must die.
Did you see this, or are you crazy?
ReplyJUH#KJBDIUWJNXDWS
ReplyYes! Yes! The bees are coming!
yes this did suck, like me. Big dicks. As often as I can.
ReplyI know that this page is old, but I'm going to say my opinion anyway:
ReplyQuite frankly, this kinda sucked :/
"I think it sucked" would be an opinion, I just made a statement. I am an Idiot.
No, you stated an opinion.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
ReplyADD is a type of crazy. Sometimes a med induced crazy, sometimes a brain induced crazy. The problem is, you never never know...
ReplyThe 'Related ads' box at the top right of the page reads like a story outline:
ReplyRelated Ads
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Crazy Videos
Cracked Teeth
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Insanity Plea
For a moment there ,I tasted the color F
ReplyCatbags smile underneath my skin.
ReplyThe staring phone wants back in.
i love you.