The Sopranos - TV drama created and produced by David Chase on HBO. The series revolved around New Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano and his difficulties in balancing family life and criminal enterprise.
Would you watch a show about the neurotic boss of a New Jersey crime family, his sociopathic mother, bitchy wife, dysfunctional kids and screw-up henchmen? How about if we tossed in a healthy dose of graphic violence, vulgarity, malaprops and boobies? Sure you would. And we here at Cracked were no different when it came to The Sopranos. Sunday nights became a virtual wasteland for network programming as HBO saw it's Nielson share average more than 12 million viewers a week. The Sopranos also is credited for ushering in a new age of quality television including series like The Shield, Dexter, The Wire, Weeds, Rome and Deadwood.
So much has been written about The Sopranos, that there isn't going to be a whole lot we can tell you about the series you may not already know.
Just in case you were living in a cave for the past decade, were recently released from a Super Max facility or just converted from an Amish lifestyle here's first six seasons of The Sopranos in 7 minutes:
Tony Soprano, as played by James Gandolfini, is one of the most memorable characters in the history of television. He's both hero and villain - a stereotype of the Italian mobster that breaks all the stereotypes. Think Al Capone or John Gotti ever went to a shrink? No - but Tony did when he started having panic attacks. How about taking your daughter to visit her new College - and then killing a snitch he stumbles upon while he's there? Tony did it all - and a lot more.
Tony became a pop culture icon - what he lacked in education he made up for in street smarts.
Tony's logic was spot on. When Tony talks you better listen:
"Rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary. They're both at Madison Avenue shopping for their wives. Poor man says to the Rich man, "What'd you get your wife this year?" He says, "A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring." The poor man says, "Why'd you get her both?" The Rich man says, "If she doesn't like the ring, she can take it back in the car and be happy." The Poor man says, "O.K. That works." The Rich man says, "Well what did you get your wife?" The Poor man says, "A pair of slippers and a dildo." The Rich man says, "Why'd you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?" The Poor man says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
Religious guy in hospital: "There was a time when humans and dinosaurs coexisted peacefully in the world"
Tony: "What, like in The Flintstones?"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: "Have you ever had a prostate exam? "
Tony.: "Are you kidding? I don't let anyone wag their finger in my FACE"
"A wrong decision is better than indecision"
Tony to Dr. Melfi: "The truth is this therapy is a jerk off. You know it, and I know it"
On Destructive Teen Behavior
Talking to Dr Melfie about his daughter's friend slashing her wrists:
Dr Melfie: "We call that small cutting"
Tony : "So what's large? O.J and the missing tracksuit?"
There's an old Italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.
"You don't shit where you eat. And you especially don't shit where I eat"
Self Help Advice
Tony: "I think its time for you to seriously consider salads."
Bobby: "Wadda' you mean?"
Tony: "wadda I mean?! I mean get off my car before you flip it over you FAT FUCK!!"
On Alternative Lifestyles
Vito: ''I could probably get a note from my doctor''
Tony: '' What? a note saying you don't like to suck cock?''
More On Alternative Lifestyles
Tony: Vito was one of us. So he sucked a cock. Prior to that he was our friend
[Tony disapproves of Meadow's new boyfriend because he is black]
Carmela: "If you want her to be with him, just keep playing the race card. You're gonna drive her right into his arms"
Tony: "Not if I cut off those arms off"
Melfi: Everyday is a gift...
Tony: But why does it always have to be a pair of socks?
Livia: "I phoned your house. Some operator answered. I couldn't understand a word she was saying"
Tony: "Ma, how many times I gotta tell you, that's not an operator, that's an answering machine"
Tony wasn't the only quotable character in The Sopranos
As you may have noticed "fuck" is basic vocabulary for most of the characters in the show. But it was a show about fucking gangsters, who liked to fuck, get fucked up, fuck up their enemies - so who gives a fuck? Ya know what I mean?
Speaking of fucking up their enemies, the Sopranos did in some charcters in "unique" ways (See: The Sopranos' 10 Most Memorable Whackings). In case you need to get caught up - here's a montage of every single killing for the entire series set to some creepy phantom of the opera music:
There were lots of whackings, and then there was just whack, and no member of Tony's gang was more whacked out than Paulie "Walnuts" Gualiteri played by Tony Sirico:
Yea, Paulie was always full of surprises. But then again the whole series was based on twists that the audience didn't see coming.
This clip is one opinion of the Top 5. I'll agree that Tony killing Christopher (# 2) was one we didn't expect. As for # 1 - The ending? - We'll get to that after you watch the video
So what did we here at Cracked think of that Ending? Will aside from the global apocalypse it nearly spawned (See: Unsatisfying Sopranos Finale Leads to Riots, Murder, Civil War) we thought it kind of sucked. You don't end the greatest series in the history of television leaving the viewer to his own imagination - do you?
Well Maybe you do......
As a few aspiring film makers decided to do what David Chase didn't - Give Sopranos fans some closure:
That's one way to finish it off - here's another "Six Feet Under" style:
And one more - John Woo Style......
Wow - We've now heard "Don't Stop Believing" more times than any human should have to endure. And for what? A few hokie video jokes?
No - We here at Cracked are now going to reveal to you the ultimate genius behind David Chase's ending.........
For even more surprise endings check out 5 Things That Would Have Made the Sopranos Ending Even Better.