Ian Fortey

Who is that masked man with the deeply unnerving icon?

We have no idea what the hell that thing on the right is supposed to be. We fear it might be a vagina, but we're not sure.

Just The Facts

  1. Ian Fortey has written more than fifty articles for Cracked.com
  2. That's more than most contributors, including David Wong, who runs the damn site.
  3. It has never been proven he is one man.

A brief and secretive history of Ian Fortey

-- David Lynch's roommate in art school, and the inspiration for the character Frank Booth in "Blue Velvet".

-- Champion, Canadian Bar-Fight Classic, 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002 (retired)

-- Was the cinematographer on several celebrity sex videos, including Leighton Meester and David Hasselhoff's (currently unreleased).

-- Likes pie.