Roadhouse - the complete idiot's guide to the greatest movie of all time.

Roadhouse has everything....super hot women...

...against the wall bareback fucking....

...the most awesome fight scenes in human history.

Just The Facts

  1. Roadhouse hit the theaters in 1989...and the theaters still have a black eye.
  2. This author has masturbated to certain scenes in this movie approximately fourteen billion times.
  3. A posthumous Oscar for his stellar performance of "Dalton" was nearly offered to Patrick Swayze, but said Oscar was found with a knife in its chest with a note attached that mysteriously said "It was tails".

Why is Roadhouse the greatest movie ever?

The answer to this question is really quite simple. It contains every awesome thing in existence:

1. Professional wrestlers

2. Blind guitarists

3. Hot blondes

4. Hot brunettes

5. Fighting

6. Fucking

7. Revenge

8. Tai Chi

9. Witty one liners, such as "That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that".

10. A brutal throat removing fighting technique that has no defense.

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