Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson's agent has the easiest job in Los Angeles. According to the 2009 Guinness Book of World Records (which uses secret magical math to determine these things), Jackson is the highest grossing actor in the world. It's a title Jackson earned by basically appearing in anything and everything. Famously, Jackson did not even read the scripts for Snakes on a Plane or The Phantom Menace before signing on to do the films and he agreed to do Formula 51 (aka The 51st State) based solely on the fact that the screenwriters had him in mind when they wrote it. He recently signed a nine picture deal with Marvel Comics' production company because they drew a character who looks like him.

Samuel L. Jackson is a golfing fiend with a rider in his contract stating that any movie he works on must open membership with a nearby golf course or country club and that he is promised X days off for golfing for every Y days of shooting.

Working with directors like Spike Lee and Quentin Tarantino has given Jackson tremendous acting opportunities, including the opportunity to scream profanity at the top of his lungs during every line read. This has become somewhat de riguer for Jackson's performances in other films.

One way Jackson builds characters for his films is through his hair. It's very important to him to have a different, often batshit hairstyle for every performance (though he usually plays every second role bald). The result is often scientifically hilarious.

Currently he's set to narrate Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds. You may also know Jackson as the narrator of Farce of the Penguins, in which case Jesus, dude, what the hell is wrong with you?

Image has not been doctored by Cracked in any way.

See you in your dreams!