Miranda Cosgrove

Everything you ever needed or wanted to know about Miranda Cosgrove.

yep, look at the size of that head.

Just The Facts

  1. Miranda Cosgrove has become an icon for 8-year-old girls (and boys) everywhere.
  2. Although she looks like she is also 8, she is actually 16.
  3. Miranda Cosgrove is a Mexican Grandma


 Miranda Cosgrove was born May 14, 1993. Her career began three years later when a talent agent spotted her doing a Shirley Temple routine in some sleazy L.A. restaurant.  Unfortunately, there is not much background about her Uninteresting Life, and we're pretty sure you don't want to hear it anyway.

Acting Career

School of Rock

Miranda Cosgrove played  the (small) role of Summer Hathaway, a groupie in a movie about a fourth grade rock band.  You man know this as the movie where Jack Black tries painfully hard to be Whoopi Goldberg, but epically fails. The result is as creepy as it sounds.

Drake and Josh

In this Nickelodeon classic, Miranda plays Drake and Josh's younger sister, Megan: a creepy/annoying little girl (in other words, she plays herself).  Her acting style for this role can be described as mostly arm swinging and eyebrow raising with a little eye squinting for embellishment. 

Be afraid.

Despite her acting abilities, the show was a huge hit (you could call it her big break) and consequently led to NIckelodeon's latest brain-child...


Miranda Cosgrove's first starring role!  She plays Carly Shay, a girl with a webshow about all things epically stupid.  She does it with her friend Sam, whose name does not appear in the title of the show for some reason.  If you started a show with your friends, would you name it after one of you or both of you?

Although this show is supposed to be for children (it's rated Y7), some episodes have had some... questionable content.  Now, maybe we at Cracked just have inherently dirty minds, but the most fail episode of iCarly has to be "iHurt Lewbert" (No, that "i" is not a typo, every episode title has an "i" in front of it. Why? We don't know. Because it looks cool, dammit!). Here is a Youtube Poop for your enjoyment.  The actual episode is almost exactly like the video. Don't believe us? Go watch the episode. Yes, he really says, "This is serious jizz."


As you can see, her acting style may still be described as awkward arm movements and facial expressions.  Much like her singing.   Wait, singing? Didn't she learn her lesson in School of Rock?

Singing Career

Apparently not.  But now, instead of singing Cats, she's singing... more songs she did not write.  The theme song to iCarly was written by Drake Bell, her co-star from Drake and Josh.  She has also done covers of Amy Diamond's Stay My Baby and the Sugababe's About You Now.  She even did a cover of The Waitress's Christmas Wrapping.

not pictured: Santa Claus


Sources say that Miranda Cosgrove is now in the process of recording a solo album, co-writing her songs with Boys Like Girls.  I'm going to pre-order it on Amazon for sure.

The Future

Miranda Cosgrove is a child star, and like all child stars, she will most likely end up like this:

macaulay on cocaine

Or this...

oh lord
Shirley Temple.

Or even this...

god forbid

In Conclusion


Am I the only one that thinks Miranda Cosgrove looks kind of like Michael Jackson?

love connection
look at this fucking love connection.