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The Baroness

The Baroness could not be better designed for nerds if her breasts dispensed Mountain Dew. And don't think someone hasn't drawn that.

A female villain from G.I. Joe. If you didn't know that, we hope you're enjoying reading pages at random - look up "goatse" next!
COBRA's intelligence officer, meaning she was either hired for her looks, decided not to work, or has chosen to exist as a living contradiction.
Suspected of minor mutant powers (her ass seems to magnetically attract cameras).

The Baroness follows a proud tradition of issuing each boy-targeted cartoon organization with precisely one (1) female to completely warp their sexual development. Many of these females were far ahead of their time.

Cheetarah: pre-empted furries by two decades.

Smurfette: a single female demanding attention from legions of obsessive males, pre-empting the entire internet.

Janine Melnitz: despite looking homely and actually being paid to hang around could still not give a shit about your nerd crap, pre-empting many fans' actual lives.

Sienna Miller's part as the Baroness is the most dangerous female role since "Gorillas in the Mist". If the film flops she'll spend the rest of her life at the epicenter of comic convention sweat-lust hordes. To hell with gorillas - that level of risk makes a Jackie Chan movie look like a pillow commercial.

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Cracked Talk on | The Baroness

5 of 59 Comments

I thought this was going to have atleast sopme mention to the band Baroness

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 11/15/2009 7:07 PM

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