For Dummies

For Dummies is a series of self-help books written in a way that even Canadians or Inner-City Youths can understand them.

Oh. So you're not supposed to replace water with bacon grease.


Just The Facts

  1. Virtually any topic can now be understood by even the slackest-jawed yokel.
  2. A new For Dummies book is created every moon cycle.
  3. "Writting a For Dummies Book" For Dummies is due out September 2009

The Books.

The concept of a simple tutorial book for MSDOS sounded harmless, but so did Hitlers idea to raise a national pride to Germany. Soon enough "For Dummies" blitzkrieged out of Computer Reference and set off to conquer the rest of Barnes and Noble.


Whats the big deal? Self-help books are pretty harmless right? Wrong. Everyone knows that knowledge is power, and "For Dummies" puts knowledge into the hands of simpletons. That's the equivalent of giving a 11 year old boy with ADHD his very own tank. Let me give you some examples of actual "For Dummies" books.

This book is why the economy is broken.

While this is bad enough on its own, it inevitably leads to....

Chapter 1: The Apple doesn't Fall Far from the Tree.

"Of course I know what I'm doing, I read the book didn't I."

Maybe we should leave this one to the Professionals.

This is an appropriate subject for dummies.

Before you know it every Billy Onetooth is racing down the highway on his tractor, repairing his computer so he can use Facebook and Excel, with a load of bees intow, all because some books told him he could.

Future Titles

Read all the For Dummies books and still don't feel smarter? Well fret not, while a quick glance around the bookstore may lead you to believe every topic under the sun has been covered, there is still much more to be learned. Let's take a look at some titles in the For Dummies pipeline.

Passive Aggressiveness For Dummies

Seducing your Teachers for better Grades For Dummies

So you've Lost your Leg in a Freak Cliff Diving Accident For Dummies

Chronic Need to Seek Personal Improvement Through a Series of Hastily Written Self-Help Books For Dummies

You People Will Buy Anything we Put Out Won't You For Dummies

Maybe Suicide is an Option in your Case For Dummies.

Sadly there is no stopping the unrelenting wave of dumb on the way. Libraries will start stocking a For Dummies next to every book they have, eventually replacing them entirely. Once For Dummies is the only liturature left another yellow book will rise to power...yes you guessed it, "For Dummies" Cliff Notes. Some president in the future (possibly George Bush the 7th) will be reading the abriged "Politics For Dummies" and skim over the chapter about not starting nucluear war, and that will be it. We will all go up in a cloud of "Idiocracy" inspired smoke.

The Cycle of Life

A complete guide to life

for Dummies