Steve Buscemi

This is actually from his wikipedia page

Plastic Surgery isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Plastic Surgery isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Just The Facts

  1. Steve Buscemi is a highly talented and multi-faceted actor, writer and director.
  2. Steve Buscemi has volunteered tirelessly after September 11th at ground zero
  3. Steve Buscemi has attempted to break up a barfight involving Vince Vaughn
  4. Steve Buscemi is the ugliest person in Hollywood who has never had any drug convictions.

Cracked on Steve Buscemi

In something straight out of a Bruce Springsteen song, Buscemi was born to a waitress and a sanitation worker in Brooklyn, and raised in an Irish-Italian American family of 4 boys, brought up Catholic. Ok, Maybe a Bon Jovi song. From his education he went on to the very glamorous world of New York City firefighting, before suffering the slings and arrows of being a talented actor who looks like John Waters on meth.

  Buscemi’s breakout role was as a dying gay AIDS patient in 1986’s “Parting Glances”. He then went on to have many less depressing roles, including a petty criminal who gets stuffed into a wood chipper in the Coen brother’s “Fargo”, a frail bowler whose ashes get caught in John Goodaman’s beard in “The Big Lebowski”, and a never ending train of bit parts in Adam Sandler films.
Like the proverbial Rodney Dangerfield of high-art award-winning creators of independent film, Buscemi gets no respect in this voice over career as well, playing characters or questionable beauty as the detestable monster Randall in “Monsters, Inc”, and Templeton the Rat in “Charlotte’s Web”.
 
At the time that this was published, the "Other Topics" section was largely irrelevant to Mr. Buscemi.  In light of Mr. Buscemi's incredible talent, this is probably due to incompetnance on the part of us here at cracked.
 
Despite being ugly as sin and having an acting resume consisting almost entirely of bad guys, oddballs, or those who are befallen with terrible misfortune (for all three, see “Fargo”), Buscemi consistently guest-directs the highest acclaimed television series such as The Sopranos and 30 Rock. He has won multiple awards from various Independent Film academies, and receives no dirth of acclaim from his peers.  Unsurprisingly enough (for the internet), a google search for (unquoted) "Steve Buscemi sexy" turns up 99,800 hits. Sure, great art is sexy, but to those of us here at Cracked, Bea Arthur is starting to look pretty hot to us.