Birds of Prey

Who are they? Where are they? How could they possibly have made so much love?

This--

Just The Facts

  1. Any of various predatory carnivorous birds such as the eagle or...
  2. a woman of the age 65 or older who targets widowed men for sexual conquest by plying them with delicious cookies and milk.

Is It Even True?

There is a group of women older than 'Cougar Age' (45-64) who prey on widowed men. They lure these men in with cookies and milk, only to later seduce them by telling them they have 'big weiners' that they 'like'. The men end up oversexed and out of money. By the time they realize what's happening, it's already too late. They are left penniliess with only their supposedly 'big weiners' to keep them company. The women that do this are...'Birds of Prey'.

It is estimated that in the year 2008 nine dudes were seduced and left penniless by Birds of Prey. One of the most notable 'Birds' from that year was Jean de Weaver. Ms. de Weaver agreed to an interview in her condominim on the condition that that we post a link to a silly picture of Diane Keaton for the purposes of this topic. Her request has been honored.

Reporter: So, Ms. de Weaver--

Jean: Call me Jean, please, dear. Would you like a cookie? Good Lord! You DO have a giant weiner, don't you?

Reporter: *blushes* Well, I'm nordic.

Jean: *smiles* I'll say! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha! Say...do you like my picture of Diane Keaton?

Reporter: Uh...yes. I mean, yeah, sure. Is SHE a Bird of Prey?

Jean: *farts* Oh! Heavens no! She's just funny and sassy and swears casually an inappropriate moments.

Reporter: Mormons?

Jean: Moments?

Reporter: I'm sorry. Did you say mormons?

Jean: Mormons?

Reporter: Mormons.

Jean: *coughs* I don't know.

Reporter: *leans forward* Oh, but I think you do!

Jean: ...

Reporter: *stands* You voted for Mitt Romney in the Republican primary, didn't you Ms. de Weaver? Didn't you!?

At this point, Jean began crying and left the room. The reporter has since been re-assigned and reminded to keep his anti-Mitt Romney bias to himself. Mitt Romney is a wonderful man with a beautiful family. He does not deserve this kind of treatment now or ever.

So, the point here is that people need to be aware that 'Birds of Prey' are among us. They are predatory. Because of that, their name is apt. Yet they are also lovers. Of Mormons in general, of Mitt Romney in particular and of love making and gold digging universally.

Beware the Birds of Prey.

That's all from this keyboard. Farewell for now~