Hillary Clinton

Former first lady of Arkansas (that's how we all know her, right?) Hillary Rodham Clinton has, whether you like it or not, been a major political figure for the best part of two decades.

The many faces of Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton

Just The Facts

  1. Caught the public eye as first lady of the United States and is currently Secretary of State
  2. There's an unfeasible amount of pictures on the internet of her pulling very strange faces
  3. Her husband did not have sex with that woman

The Rise of the First Lady of Arkansas

Hillary Rodham was born in Chicago, IL and bizarrely named after mountineer Sir Edmund Hillary. Good job it wasn't his companion She went on to study at Yale Law School and whilst she was there found Bill Clinton's saxophone an impressive object of seduction. Her and Bill campaigned for civil liberties and equal rights, presumably by placing flowers in gun barrells and staging large-scale rock festivals.

Despite turning down several proposals, the persistant requests proved too much and she eventually accepted. Then he had an affair. In case you haven't heard this story, Bill Clinton was alleged to have had an affair with Monica Lewinsky, something which they both denied until irrefusable evidence led them to change their arguments slightly. Hillary supported her husband and her approval ratings soared as a result, and 2 years later became the first First Lady to serve as a United States Senator. She is also the first first First Lady to serve as a United States Senator and hold a postgraduate degree. That's obvious but I just wanted to say 'first' three times in a row and for it to make sense.

Her tenure as Senator for New York was mostly favourable, but due to her opposition to the Iraq war during her second term her Gallup Poll looked like the heart rates of two parents who suddenly walk in on their child, the beautifully named No Opinion, flatlining. It's not a perfect analogy.

Folliwing her second term she ran for president but lost a place on the Democrat ticket to someone called Barack Obama. During the campaign, it was decided that the Democrat electorate much prefered Obama's message of "change" to Clinton's message of "experience". So, naturally, Clinton stole it. Upon Barack Obama's historic election to the White House, he made Clinton his Secretary of State, which is kind of like winning a prestigious competion and telling the loser it's okay because they can go down to the bank and cash your massive cheque for you.

Her rise from First Lady of Arkansas to Secretary of State narrowly missing out on a Presidential nomination is impressive, and maybe one day we'll see her as the first first first First Lady to serve as a United States Senator and hold a postgraduate degree to go on to be President. Too far?