Dragons

Dragons are usually depicted in modern times as massive, reptilian monsters covered in scales, often breathing fire and devouring beautiful virgins. Why virgins? We at Cracked would like to think it is because their innocence and purity make them extra sweet and tasty. 

Dragons hold different meanings in different cultures, as well as being very different in appearance. The most common traits seem to be red or yellow eyes, a reptilian or serpentine body, and young that hatch from eggs.  Wings, feathers, neck ridges and the numbers of legs change depending on the region, mythos and personal fetishes of the serpent involved.

 The word dragon is believed to be derived from the Greek word   δρaκων (drakon), "a serpent of huge size, a python, a dragon.”  As in the male writers for Cracked.com all have huge δρaκων in their pants. 

They range in size from that of a small bird to that of a city bus, and may have bat like wings that allow it to fly. Try to imagine that for a moment; flying, fire breathing lizards the size of a bus. Aren’t you glad they’re mythical? That sort of thing could really ruin your day, or your civilization.

 Dragons are hell on real estate values.

The Oriental dragon is a mythical creature of East Asian with Chinese origins.  It is usually depicted these  days as a snake type creature with scales, four legs and large claws.

Unlike European dragons, they are usually considered to be benevolent, wise and often related to the primal forces of nature, especial water.

They are sometimes able to take human form, which we can only imagine leads to some very awkward “morning after” moments. Chinese dragons can also develop wings over a life span of 3,500 years.

European Dragons appear in the mythos and legends among the varied and overlapping cultures of Europe. 

Most European dragons are portrayed with wings and the ability to breathe fire, and we would like to imagine that modern Euro Dragons would enjoy sipping lattes at exclusive bistros while listening to techno music.

 Legend usually depicts these dragons dwelling in underground lairs or caverns, representing their link to the element of Earth.  So the Oriental Dragons are Water elementals, and the European dragons that fly in the air and breathe fire are Earth elementals. Apparently mythical creatures don't need logic.

“For some reason it's almost unbearably sexy having huge magical dragons flying low about the sky on sweet and fragrant moonlit nights…”   Scott Adams on Fuolornis Fire Dragons.

Smaug - Smaug the Golden was the greatest dragon of Middle-earth to survive into the Third Age. Killing Smaug and reclaiming the treasure was the object of the quest in The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien’s first book to be set in Middle Earth.

Puff the Magic Dragon - A well known song based on a poem by Leonard Lipton. The lyrics tell a story of the ageless dragon Puff and his playmate Jackie Paper, a little boy who grows up and loses interest in the imaginary adventures of childhood and leaves Puff alone and depressed. The story of the song takes place "by the sea" in the fictional land of Honalee. The poet and the composers of the song all vehemently deny any connect between Puff and the consumption of marijuana. And we believe them, uh huh.

Falkor the Luck Dragon -  Falkor is a luck dragon, a freakish yet adorable combination of fuzz and feathers that appears in the “Never ending Story” movies.  Best known for his positive outlook, Falkor helps the hero of the movie with not only extra-fast flight, but with encouragement and hope.  He also grants wishes and is willing to terrorize childhood bullies.

Tiamat - A powerful draconic goddess in the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.  Tiamat is a queen and mother of evil dragons and a member of the default pantheon of D&D gods. Her symbol is a five-headed dragon. Tiamat was also named as one of the greatest villains in D&D history in Dragon #359, the magazine's final print issue. She therefore ranks an 11 out of 10 on the “terrifying creature that will snuff out your life on a whim" scale.