Sports Cars
Warning: The following contains lots of technical stuff and some car celebrity references. If you do not know these things, are a woman, or own a prius, please navigate away.
Just The Facts
- Most sports cars are owned by middle-aged businessmen who are more boring than Tanner Faust
- Carrol Shelby is old and senile and will sell you anything (hat looks good though)
- No Sir, those stickers are not going to add 30HP.
So Many Cars
Sports Cars are a great escape and can be full of excitement and adrenaline, and usually a less illegal means of gaining such feelings instead of other like-wise activites such as shooting a firearm at walmart or being an ax-murderer (however an IROC camaro is perfect to go along with that). Even at the beginning there has always been a four-wheeled organ donation creation machine to match precisely with the equally defective unique personality who may be behind the wheel.
Not a bad way to spend ten-thousand dollars.
The cutlure of Sports Cars took a sharp and aburbt turn to the cliff when Dominick Toretto and Brian O'Connor showed us just how fast (and furious!) the little imported car your mother owns with the pepsi bottle sized engine, neon underglow lights, steriotyped asians, and some stuff called NOS! (according to the movie thats the only way it should be said). Very soon after there was an explosion of people taking their nissan sentra and sticking various shit on it to fool others into thinking it's something Enzo Ferrari might of shit out.Massive mufflers, fake carbon fiber, and a wing that could possibly be from a cessna have become the norm for those that have the need....for speed! (again..thats how it's supposed to be said). The movies only got worse when the second and third came out, going so far in the name of thinner plot and mediocre acting to the point Bow Wow was needed. The latest has been a kind-of apology to those who feel a un-painted body kit on a 1999 Toyota Corolla (which makes a rip-roaring 120HP) is not "diesel".
Maybe the answer is in the TV.
This cesspool of lying and showing off might be atrributed to not only a single movie franchise. Have you ever watched the Speed Channel? How about Motorweek? The show with the un-presdented talent of even making the coolest car about as exciting as watching Chip Foose talk about himself.This is a comparison between a Motorweek review of the Pontiac G8 GXP.
and the same car getting reviewed by Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear
Even though the Top Gear review is of the slower version of the car, the review essentially melts your face with awesome misogynistic fire and non-PC car porn.
Pontiac and Vauxhall aren't even from the same continent.
ReplyYes herp-derp, they arent; BUT they are both the same car. GM owns vauxhall and they rebadged the vauxhall as a pontiac for the American market.
What about the rich internet tycoon 27 year old/trust fund kid?
ReplyA car with a Lamborghini or Ferrari badge would be suitable for them.
nice article but i am glad to be the first jackass to question it. How loud do you think internal wastegates are? Did you mean loud as f**k blow-off valve? I feel no better joy then to vent pressurized air at some old fart in a corvette and that is, with out a doubt loud as f**k and annoying.
ReplySeriously great article! I really do pity the people who drive such cars...expensive and silly and you don't get that much use out of them...well, not legally and safely, anyways. But I guess I'll never know what they think, because I and my fiancee are quite happy with the size of my penis.
ReplyIt's called a track day. You take your car to a race track and spend the day driving around it. Or you could take the Charlie Watts approach and just sit in it with the engine on.
As for the whole compensation thing, I never understood that. What's wrong with enjoying a quality made car? Being able to afford a gallardo doesn't make you an asshole.
Yeah, it's funny how some people take a Civic, stick some Enkeis on it and call it a tuner.
Reply